Author: Kathy Lette

Good art is in the wallet of the beholder.

(1958 – ) Australian author

I once dated a famous Aussie rugby player who treated me just like a football; made a pass, played footsie, then dropped me as soon as he’d scored.

(1958 – ) Australian author

When you've been around as long as me… you'll know that there are three types of sex… One – brand-new, kitchen-table sex; Two – bedroom sex; then number three – hallway sex… when you pass each other in the hallway and say 'f**k you.’

(1958 – ) Australian author

Psychiatry is a waste of good couches; why should I make a psychiatrist laugh, and then pay him?

(1958 – ) Australian author

If he wants breakfast in bed, tell him to sleep in the kitchen.

(1958 – ) Australian author

Ironic how you can’t get kids out of their beds in the morning but you can’t get them into their beds at night.

(1958 – ) Australian author

People who say that money can't buy happiness just don't know where to shop.

(1958 – ) Australian author

A balanced meal is whatever stays on the spoon en route to a baby’s mouth.

(1958 – ) Australian author

Men think monogamy is something you make dining tables out of.

(1958 – ) Australian author

It’s a mystery of parenthood that your son can give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to stray, worm-riddled dogs, share a piece of re-chewed gum from a kid with bronchitis and pick his nose and eat it on a regular basis, yet won’t sit next to his sister because of ‘Girl Germs.’

(1958 – ) Australian author

Show me a woman with both feet planted firmly on the ground – and I'll show you a girl who can't get her knickers off.

(1958 – ) Australian author

To please a woman in bed, all a man has to do is a poetry course; they also have to learn that the Kama Sutra is not an Indian takeaway and that the mutual orgasm is not an insurance company.

(1958 – ) Australian author

And most men seem to think ‘mutual orgasm’ is an insurance company.

(1958 – ) Australian author

There was no sex education in the ‘70s; we thought the Kama Sutra was Indian takeaway.

(1958 – ) Australian author

Women want to be treated as equals, not sequels.

(1958 – ) Australian author