Quotes and One Liners

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

How can we possibly use sex to get what we want? … sex is what we want!

Men Sex As Frasier Crane in “Frasier”

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

With the Crane boys genes and Lilith’s contribution, I’m not sure the NFL is holding it’s breath.

TV/Movie Quotes As Frasier Crane in “Frasier” Of his son

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

Dad, the odds of me knowing the score to the Mariners game is about the same as you knowing the score to Pacific Overtures.

Self TV/Movie Quotes As Frasier Crane in “Frasier”

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

[To Lilith] I could look at you if I wanted to, but frankly, I’ve grown tired of counting the comb marks in your hair.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

I know she's a bit touchy about her age – even though it's not the first time she's turned 40.

Age TV/Movie Quotes As Frasier Crane in “Frasier”

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

Frasier: I asked Dad to get me a bran muffin. You know what he said to me? “What’s the magic word?”
Niles: You’re kidding.
Frasier: He didn’t think it was very amusing when I said, “Rest home!”

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

Norm: Hey, Frasier, you’re a doctor. What happens to old, dead skin?
Frasier: Apparently it sits on barstools and drinks beer all day.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

This is a woman who thinks the Spanish Inquisition was just tough love for heretics.

Reviews/Criticism TV/Movie Quotes As Frasier Crane in “Frasier”

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

If I had trouble taking orders from a woman, Frederick (his son) would have never been conceived.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

I can see you’re still waiting on that spine donor.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

Oh, joy, Christmas Eve. By this time tomorrow, millions of Americans, knee-deep in tinsel and wrapping paper will utter those heartfelt words, ‘Is this all I got?’

TV/Movie Quotes As Frasier Crane in “Cheers” Christmas

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

He tried wearing an allergy tag, but his neck was too weak to support it.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

Sam, I had the most incredible evening. Last night, I dreamed about something – not Diane… well, she was in the background chattering on about something, naked, but the important thing is, I was a therapist again.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

Cliff: Hey Doc, ah, what do you think the toughest thing to cut through is?
Frasier: Your unending bull.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

Frasier: You’re not alone.
Agoraphobe: But I AM alone!

TV/Movie Quotes Agoraphobia As Frasier Crane in “Frasier”

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

Catherine: Your wife is really lucky.
Frasier: Well, I’m sure she’d say the same thing, especially now that our marriage is over.

Marriage TV/Movie Quotes As Frasier Crane in “Frasier”

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

You were 15 before you realized there was a correlation between getting beaten up every day and going to school wearing a Panama hat.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

… without embarrassing parents there’d be no psychology.

Family Parents TV/Movie Quotes As Frasier Crane in “Frasier”

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

Sam: Have you noticed that, uh… somebody in this bar is getting a little loony?
Frasier: Sam, everyone in this bar is on a connecting flight to beyond loony.

Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes As Frasier Crane in “Cheers”

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

I like her from a distance. You know, the way you like the sun. Maris is like the sun. Except without the warmth.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer