Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Laura Kightlinger
You know, the only difference between me and a surgeon or a pediatrician is that when I approach a couple with a child and say, ‘I’d like to keep him for a few days and do some bloodwork,’ it’s considered inappropriate.
Laura Kightlinger
(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Doctors
Entertainment
Health
Bloodwork
Comedy profession
I have a rule, and that is to never look at somebody's face while we're having sex; because, number one, what if I know the guy?
Laura Kightlinger
(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Sex
Situations
I want to be so famous that drag queens will dress like me in parades when I'm dead.
Laura Kightlinger
(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Self
Success
Drag queens
Fame
I really detest movies like
Indecent Proposal
and
Pretty Woman
because they send a message to women that sleeping with a rich man is the ultimate goal; and really that’s such a small part of it.
Laura Kightlinger
(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Entertainment
Film
Sex
Women
Indecent Proposal
Pretty Woman
I’m still going on bad dates, when by now I should be in a bad marriage.
Laura Kightlinger
(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Age
Dating
Relationships
'Bush and Son: Leading America to War Since 1990.'
Laura Kightlinger
(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
America
Conflict
War
Family business
Presidents Bush
I can’t think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they’re dead.
Laura Kightlinger
(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Alcohol
Intelligence
Memory
Situations