Author: Leo Rosten

I never cease being dumbfounded by the unbelievable things people believe.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Beliefs People

The only reason for being a professional writer is that you can’t help it.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Communication Reading/Writing

Satire is focused bitterness.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Communication Language

She went into the hospital after being bitten by a spider in a bathing suit.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Language Misspokements

Any man who hates dogs and babies can’t be all bad.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Animals Dogs Men People

From now on I'm watching your every move with a fine-toothed comb.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Mixed metaphors

The fellow who laughs last may laugh best, but he gets the reputation of being very slow-witted.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Emotions Fools Intelligence Laughter

She was as mad as a wet blanket.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Anger Emotions Malaprops

Rosten’s First Law: First-rate people hire first-rate people; second-rate people hire third-rate people.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Murphy’s Laws People Work

Anybody who hates dogs and children can’t be all bad.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
People

Money can’t buy happiness, but neither can poverty.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Money Poverty Wealth

Not all that shivers is cold.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Malaprops

Acting is a form of deception, and actors can mesmerize themselves almost as easily as an audience.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Acting Entertainment

A conservative is one who admires radicals centuries after they're dead.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Beliefs Government Politics

Any man who hates dogs and babies can’t be all bad.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Animals Dogs Emotions People

One of the things you have to say for him: he doesn't mince his punches.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Mixed metaphors

Rome wasn't burned in a day.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Malaprops

He's the type who will cut your throat behind your back.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Malaprops People

If you are going to do something wrong, at least enjoy it.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Mistakes Problems

Truth is stranger than fiction; fiction has to make sense.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Characteristics Communication Honesty Truth

For some not to be martyrs is martyrdom indeed.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
People Situations