Author: Mark Twain

If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
People

France has neither winter nor summer nor morals; apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Places

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Opinion

I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Insults

The past does not repeat itself, but it rhymes.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Language Past Time

It is easier to stay out than get out.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Situations

Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Fools Government Intelligence World

He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Appearance Insults

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics People

Carlyle said, “A lie cannot live;” it shows he did not know how to tell them.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Communication Language Lies

Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Alcohol Food/Drink

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Death Intelligence Memory

I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
People Self Success

Germany, the diseased world's bathhouse.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Health Insults Places

Man is the only animal that blushes… or needs to.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Animals Emotions People

If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Problems

One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Facts Situations

If we had less statesmanship we could get along with fewer battleships.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Arms Conflict Government Military Things War

All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Intelligence Success

The first act occupied three hours… I enjoyed that in spite of the singing.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Reviews/Criticism

The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Age Individuals People