Author: Mark Twain Page 5

A gold mine is a hole in the ground with a liar on top.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics

It’s easier to fool people than to convince them they’ve been fooled.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Honesty

I smoke in moderation, only one cigar at a time.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics

What a good thing Adam had; when he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication

It is easier to stay out than get out.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Situations

By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity… another man’s, I mean.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Problems

I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics

Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Alcohol Food/Drink

Adam was the luckiest man: he had no mother-in-law.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Relationships

Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Conflict Eating Fights Food/Drink Life Success

When angry count four; when very angry, swear.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Emotions Speech

Clothes make the man; naked people have little or no influence on society.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Appearance Clothing

Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
People

In the first place God made idiots; that was for practice; then he made school boards.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Education Fools God Insults Intelligence

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics

There are several good protections against temptations, but the surest is cowardice.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Situations

I believe our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Animals Beliefs God People

France has neither winter nor summer nor morals; apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Places

Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Proverbs Situations

Just the omission of Jane Austen’s books alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn’t a book in it.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Books Communication Reviews/Criticism

The past does not repeat itself, but it rhymes.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Language Past Time