Author: Mark Twain Page 6

Education consists mainly in what we have unlearned.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education Learning

God was left out of the Constitution but was furnished a front seat on the coins of the country.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs God

Giving up smoking is easy… I've done it hundreds of times.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Activities Characteristics

Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; truth isn’t.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Facts Honesty Truth

None but the dead have free speech.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Speech

I smoke in moderation, only one cigar at a time.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics

An ethical man is a Christian holding four aces.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics

I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs

A classic is a book which people praise, but no one reads.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Books Communication Reading/Writing

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Food/Drink Opinion

Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Characteristics Facts Science/Weather

Education: The path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education Intelligence

A gold mine is a hole in the ground with a liar on top.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics

I’m opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Money Opinion Wealth

In India, ‘cold weather’ is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather which will melt a brass door knob and weather which only makes it mushy.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Heat Science/Weather

If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Problems

We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world; and its efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don’t know anything and can’t read.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Government Intelligence People Reading/Writing

Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Death Life

There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Situations

What a good thing Adam had; when he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication

Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Proverbs Situations