Author: Mark Twain Page 8

If we keep on learning at this rate well soon know nothing at all.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education Learning

Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier’n puttin’ it back.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Animals Cats Characteristics

Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Opinion

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Individuals People Situations

There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication People Speech

Man is the only animal that blushes… or needs to.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Animals Emotions People

I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs

Last week I stated that this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen… I have since been visited by her sister and now wish to withdraw that statement.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Appearance Ugly

I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Death

All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Intelligence Success

Germany, the diseased world's bathhouse.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Health Insults Places

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education Food/Drink School

A gold mine is a hole in the ground with a liar on top.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics

Such is the human race, often it seems a pity that Noah didn't miss the boat.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
People

Once you've put one of his books down, you simply can't pick it up again.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Reviews/Criticism

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d druther not.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Health

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Animals Cats People

It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics

There ain’t no way to find out why a snorer can’t hear himself snore.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Activities Sleep

There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
America Congress Government Places Problems

Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Facts Language Science/Weather