Author: Mark Twain Page 9

Heaven goes by favor; for if it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Animals Beliefs Characteristics Dogs

An enemy can partly ruin a man, but it takes a good-natured injudicious friend to complete the thing and make it perfect.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Friends People Relationships

Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Opinion

Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Conflict Fights

All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Intelligence Success

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d druther not.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Health

Never tell the truth to those unworthy of it.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Honesty Truth

Brooklyn praise is half slander.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Places

The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Cold Places Science/Weather

I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Death

Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Death Life

What a good thing Adam had; when he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication