Author: Megan Mullally

Grace: You said that money is no object

Karen: Oh honey, that’s just a saying, like ‘Ooh… that sounds like fun.’ or ‘I love you.’

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

I gave that man the drunkest years of my life.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

I regret the day I ever laid boobs on that man.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

If it has genitals on the outside it’s hiding something on the inside.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case, you figure it out.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

Well, well, well. Look what the cat cleaned up, showered, exfoliated, powdered, lipsticked, Gucci’d and dragged in.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

You’re as gay as a clutch purse on Tony night.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

It’s not something you can just run away from like a hotel bill… or a crying baby.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

It’s time to get your head out of the dumps and your legs in the air!

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

Hey, hey, hey. Come on. I know what guilt is. It’s one of those touchy-feely words that people throw around that don’t really mean anything… You know, like “maternal” or “addiction.”

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

Your hair is already such a disaster that the Red Cross wouldn’t give it coffee.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

Good Lord I can’t believe I’m at a public pool. Why doesn’t someone just directly pee on me?

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

You say potato, I say vodka.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

I’m gonna be so mad when my mood elevators wear off.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

The only other person I’ve apologized to is my mother and that was court ordered.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

[a man rushes in to meet Karen] Miss Walker, I came as soon as you called.

Karen: Well that’s really none of my business, but thanks for sharing.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

She’s gone to Mexico for face-lifts so many times, I’ll bet if you whacked her head with a stick, prizes would fall out.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

NO! I will not have sex for money! I only have sex for jewels, furs, or mixed securities, like a lady.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

We talked, we laughed, he walked me home. He was such a gentleman. He opened the door for me, I opened my shirt for him.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

If you ever need someone to drink with, I’ll drink with you. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, I’ll drink with you. I guess what I’m trying to say is: I love to drink!

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

Light beer? What’s next, non addictive pain killers?

(1958 – ) American actress & singer