Author: H.L. Mencken Page 3

His writing is rumble and bumble, flap and doodle, balder and dash.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Communication Insults Reading/Writing

Historian: an unsuccessful novelist.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Communication Occupations Reading/Writing Work

Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics

The difference between a moral man and a man of honor is that the latter regrets a discreditable act, even when it has worked and he has not been caught.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics

Democracy: The worship of jackals by jackasses.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Democracy Government

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail and if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Emotions Government Laughter

Men have a much better time of it than women; for one thing, they marry later, and for another thing, they die earlier.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Marriage Men Women

Man is a beautiful machine that works very badly.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
People

Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's inquest.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Communication Conversation Husbands Marriage Wives

Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Marriage Wives

If I had my way, any man guilty of golf would be ineligible for any office of trust in the United States.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
America Golf Government Sports

Wife: A former sweetheart.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Wives

A newspaper is a device for making the ignorant more ignorant and the crazy crazier.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Communication Intelligence Reading/Writing

A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn't know.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
People Success

Temptation is an irresistible force at work on a movable body.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics

A man always blames the woman who fooled him, in the same way he blames the door he walks into in the dark.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Men People Women

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Husbands Marriage People Women

It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics or chemistry.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Beliefs People Religion Sex Women

It is a sin to believe evil of others, but is is seldom a mistake.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics

A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Beliefs Children Family Parents Religion

Lawyer: One who protects us against robbery by taking away the temptation.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Communication Government Language Lawyers