Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Author: Moms Mabley
He was so ugly… he hurt my feelings.
Moms Mabley
(1894 – 1975) American comedian
Appearance
Body
Ugly
Life is like a game of poker: If you don’t put any in the pot, there won’t be any to take out.
Moms Mabley
(1894 – 1975) American comedian
Activities
Games
Life
Betting
Poker
A woman’s a woman until the day she dies, but a man’s only a man as long as he can.
Moms Mabley
(1894 – 1975) American comedian
Men
People
Women
That man so old… he’s older than his birthday.
Moms Mabley
(1894 – 1975) American comedian
Age
Old
Birthdays
Exaggerations
They say you shouldn’t say nothin’ about the dead unless it’s good; he’s dead… good!
Moms Mabley
(1894 – 1975) American comedian
Communication
Death
Speech
My husband was so ugly, he used to stand outside the doctor’s office and make people sick.
Moms Mabley
(1894 – 1975) American comedian
Appearance
Health
Husbands
Marriage
Ugly