Author: Mr. Cranky Page 3

You know when an actress like Claire Forlani starts making fun of other actresses for being anorexic, the film is operating in another dimension.

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)
Reviews/Criticism

If you want to see what happens when independent filmmakers have too much money and don’t know what to do with it, just go see Bee Season.

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)
Reviews/Criticism

I was stunned beyond words at the originality of the screenplay.

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)
Reviews/Criticism

The weird part about the advertising for Midnight in Paris is that it wasn't at all presented as some kind of time travel fantasy, which meant I left my aviator goggles and opium ampoules at home.

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)
Reviews/Criticism

To imagine that there was a whole process required to bring this film to screen is almost too painful to imagine.

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)
Reviews/Criticism

Captain America is a movie where nothing really happens until just before the very end, when the director accidentally filmed a few action sequences but made sure that the main bad guy wasn’t involved whatsoever. Then nothing happens, again, then roll credits.

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)
Reviews/Criticism

I really should dynamite this movie just for forcing me to watch Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler try to act. The dude plays himself and I didn’t believe it – that’s how bad he is.

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)
Reviews/Criticism

If you want to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that Hollywood is a cesspool of whoredom and back-door deal-making, just look at the credits of the writers responsible for this monstrous piece of crap.

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)
Reviews/Criticism

I’d rather spend my 180 minutes seeing how hard a 400-pound gorilla can tighten a vise around my penis before I pass out from the pain.

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)
Reviews/Criticism

This had all the drama of a traffic jam.

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)
Reviews/Criticism

The best thing about Chill Factor is that it’s over fast.

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)
Reviews/Criticism

This film appears to be something of an homage to "Some Like it Hot", which is kind of like saying that a bum taking a crap in a dumpster is an homage to “Star Wars.”

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)
Reviews/Criticism

Anybody who refers to this film as “brilliant” is a moron.

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)
Reviews/Criticism

This film has all the energy of a rotting corpse.

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)
Reviews/Criticism

The main character’s bout with cancer throughout 50/50 was nothing compared to the mental anguish I was forced to deal with as the 'plot' of this misguided medical morass unfolded before me.

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)
Reviews/Criticism

It’s truly rare that you see this level of insightful childhood psychoanalysis in a film about a basketball-playing dog.

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)
Reviews/Criticism

Affleck probably got the part of the blind superhero because he was the only actor too inebriated to duck when the producers flung objects at his head.

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)
Reviews/Criticism

There’s saccharine writing and then there’s writing that, if you could liquefy it and inject it into the five-year-olds watching this thing, would launch them into space. This is the latter.

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)
Reviews/Criticism

Affleck probably got the part of the blind superhero because he was the only actor too inebriated to duck when the producers flung objects at his head.

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)
Reviews/Criticism