Author: Noel Coward

Literary diarrhea.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Insults Reviews/Criticism

I can take any amount of criticism so long as it is unqualified praise.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Communication People Self

Having to read a footnote resembles having to go downstairs to answer the door while in the midst of making love.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Communication Reading/Writing

Keir Dullea, gone tomorrow.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Acting Entertainment Reviews/Criticism Wordplay

We have no reliable guarantee that the afterlife will be any less exasperating than this one, have we?

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Death

Edward Woodward… Edward Woodward… sounds like a fart in the bath.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Entertainment Insults

Many years ago I remember a famous actress explaining to me with perfect seriousness that before making an entrance she always stood aside to allow God to go on first; I can also remember that on that particular occasion He gave a singularly uninspired performance.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Acting People Reviews/Criticism

Do I believe in God? … Let’s say we have a working relationship.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Beliefs God

Extraordinary how potent cheap music is.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Entertainment Music

I see her as one great stampede of lips directed at the nearest derriere.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Appearance Insults

People are wrong when they say opera is not what it used to be… it is what it used to be; that is what's wrong with it.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Entertainment Music Reviews/Criticism

Dear Randolph, utterly unspoilt by failure.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Failure Insults

She had much in common with Hitler, only no mustache.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Insults

He has his head in the clouds and his feet in the box office.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Communication Insults Reviews/Criticism

He's completely unspoiled by failure.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Failure Insults

I have a memory like an elephant; in fact, elephants often consult me.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Animals Intelligence Memory

I like long walks… especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Activities People

Actress Claudette Colbert: I knew these lines backwards last night.

Coward: And that’s just the way you’re saying them this morning.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Acting Communication Entertainment Speech

Criticism and Bolshevism have one thing in common: they both seek to pull down that which they could never build.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Beliefs Insults

Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar; never spread it about like marmalade.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Entertainment Intelligence

Television opened up a whole new field of unemployment for him.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Acting Entertainment Insults Television