Author: Noel Coward Page 2

He's completely unspoiled by failure.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Failure Insults

She had much in common with Hitler, only no mustache.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Insults

He has his head in the clouds and his feet in the box office.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Communication Insults Reviews/Criticism

Many years ago I remember a famous actress explaining to me with perfect seriousness that before making an entrance she always stood aside to allow God to go on first; I can also remember that on that particular occasion He gave a singularly uninspired performance.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Acting People Reviews/Criticism

Success took me to her bosom like a maternal boa constrictor.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Success

She took her curtain calls as though she has just been un-nailed from the cross.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Reviews/Criticism

It's a pity you didn't have a little more brandy; it might have made you more agreeable!

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Insults

There's always something fishy about the French.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Insults People Places

Extraordinary how potent cheap music is.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Entertainment Music

I have a memory like an elephant; in fact, elephants often consult me.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Animals Intelligence Memory

I've sometimes thought of marrying – and then I've thought again.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Marriage

Keir Dullea, gone tomorrow.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Acting Entertainment Reviews/Criticism Wordplay

Actress Claudette Colbert: I knew these lines backwards last night.

Coward: And that’s just the way you’re saying them this morning.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Acting Communication Entertainment Speech

Having to read a footnote resembles having to go downstairs to answer the door while in the midst of making love.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Books Communication Reading/Writing Sex

Squash – that’s not exercise, it’s flagellation.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Sports

Television opened up a whole new field of unemployment for him.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Acting Entertainment Insults Television

Like watching an affair between a mad rocking-horse and a rawhide suitcase.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Reviews/Criticism

Television is for appearing on – not for looking at.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Entertainment Television

I like long walks… especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Activities People

Having to read a footnote resembles having to go downstairs to answer the door while in the midst of making love.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Communication Reading/Writing

Edward Woodward… Edward Woodward… sounds like a fart in the bath.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Entertainment Insults