Author: Noel Coward Page 2

I see her as one great stampede of lips directed at the nearest derriere.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Appearance Insults

I can take any amount of criticism so long as it is unqualified praise.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Communication People Self

Two things should be cut – the second act and the child's throat.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Reviews/Criticism

She stopped the show – but then the show wasn't traveling very fast.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Acting Communication Entertainment Reviews/Criticism

Like watching an affair between a mad rocking-horse and a rawhide suitcase.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Reviews/Criticism

It's a pity you didn't have a little more brandy; it might have made you more agreeable!

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Insults

Television is for appearing on, not looking at.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Entertainment Television

He's completely unspoiled by failure.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Failure Insults

Edward Woodward… Edward Woodward… sounds like a fart in the bath.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Entertainment Insults

People are wrong when they say opera is not what it used to be… it is what it used to be; that is what's wrong with it.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Entertainment Music Reviews/Criticism

“A WARM HAND ON YOUR OPENING.”

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Communication Wordplay

Television opened up a whole new field of unemployment for him.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Acting Entertainment Insults Television

Never mind, dear, we're all made the same, though some more than others.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
People

Having to read a footnote resembles having to go downstairs to answer the door while in the midst of making love.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Communication Reading/Writing

I have a memory like an elephant; in fact, elephants often consult me.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Animals Intelligence Memory

She had much in common with Hitler, only no mustache.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Insults

I don't believe in astrology; the only stars I can blame for my failures are those that walk about the stage.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Failure

Success took me to her bosom like a maternal boa constrictor.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Success

Never trust a man with short legs… his brain's too near his bottom.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Appearance Body Intelligence

She took her curtain calls as though she has just been un-nailed from the cross.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Reviews/Criticism

There's always something fishy about the French.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Insults People Places