Author: Oscar Levant

Once he makes up his mind, he's full of indecision.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Insults Intelligence

She not only worships the golden calf, she barbecues it for lunch.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Insults

Sometimes he was inaudible – those were his best moments.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
People Reviews/Criticism

It's not what you are but what you don't become that hurts.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
People Self

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Government Politicians Poverty

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, “You're only interested in one thing,” and you can't remember what it is.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Marriage Memory Sex

I smile so seldom that I wonder at Arlene Francis, who smiles persistently… like the Sorcerer's Apprentice, once she turns it on can she turn it off?

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
People Reviews/Criticism

I made a comment to a newspaper about therapists saying that people should not become dependent on them and it got printed as, "The rapists say . . . "

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Communication

So little time and so little to do.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Activities Time

He'll doublecross that bridge when he comes to it.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Characteristics Government Insults

She has discovered the secret of perpetual middle age.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Age Insults

I envy people who drink – at least they know what to blame everything on.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Alcohol Food/Drink

I honestly believe there is absolutely nothing like going to bed with a good book… or a friend who’s read one.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Age Books Friends People Sex Sleep

There's a fine line between genius and insanity and I have erased this line.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Intelligence

Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Appearance Body Characteristics Fat

Musicals: a series of catastrophes ending with a floorshow.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Entertainment

When I was young, I looked like Al Capone but I lacked his compassion.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
People Self

A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Communication Entertainment Language

My psychiatrist once said to me, “Maybe life isn't for everyone.”

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Life Self

Strip the phony tinsel off Hollywood and you'll find the real tinsel underneath.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Hollywood Places

I treasure every moment that I do not see her.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Insults