Author: P.G. Wodehouse

All the unhappy marriages come from husbands having brains; what good are brains to a man? … they only unsettle him.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Husbands Intelligence Marriage Wisdom

Every author really wants to have letters printed in the papers; unable to make the grade, he drops down a rung of the ladder and writes novels.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Books Communication Reading/Writing

There are three things in the world that he held in the smallest esteem – slugs, poets and caddies with hiccups.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Golf Sports

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Arms Sports

Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Intelligence Memory

He enjoys that perfect peace, that peace beyond all understanding, which comes at its maximum only to the man who has given up golf.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Golf Situations Sports

I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Characteristics

In boxing the right cross-counter is distinctly one of those things it is more blessed to give than to receive.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Boxing Sports

And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Intelligence Wisdom

It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and ray of sunshine.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
People Places

He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Appearance Insults

To find a man’s true character, play golf with him.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Characteristics Golf Sports

He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Insults Intelligence

If he had a mind, there was something on it.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Insults Intelligence

Golf, like measles, should be caught young.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Age Golf Sports

The only way of really finding out a man's true character is to play golf with him; in no other walk of life does the cloven hoof so quickly display itself.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Characteristics Golf Sports

He was a man who never let his left hip know what his right hip was doing.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Dance Entertainment

Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Health Life

… I hadn’t the heart to touch my breakfast; I told Jeeves to drink it himself.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Miscellaneous

Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir; it merely mummifies its corpse.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Marriage

A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of someone who had searched for the leak in life’s gas pipe with a lighted candle.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Characteristics Death