Author P.J. O’Rourke | Just-One-Liners.com

Author: P.J. O'Rourke Page 2

Satan probably wouldn’t have talked so big if God had been his wife.

P.J. O'Rourke

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist

The only really firm rule of taste about cross dressing is that neither sex should ever wear anything they haven’t yet figured out how to go to the bathroom in.

P.J. O'Rourke

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist

Appearance Clothing Cross dressing

Compared to the Clintons, Reagan is living proof that a Republican with half a brain is better than a Democrat with two.

P.J. O'Rourke

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist

Insults Politicians

The French are sawed-off sissies who eat snails and slugs and cheese that smells like people's feet.

P.J. O'Rourke

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist

Insults People Of the French

A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life.

P.J. O'Rourke

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist

Men Things Time Women Hats

Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is.

P.J. O'Rourke

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist

Food/Drink Fish Smell Spoiled

Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living.

P.J. O'Rourke

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist

Government Politicians Work

You can always reason with a German… you can always reason with a barnyard animal, too, for all the good it does.

P.J. O'Rourke

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist

Insults People

Some people are better imagined in one's bed than found there in the morning.

P.J. O'Rourke

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist

Ideas Sex Situations Bed Imagination

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free.

P.J. O'Rourke

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist

Government Health care

Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

P.J. O'Rourke

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist

Books Communication Death Reading/Writing

I’ve only been a New Yorker for ten years but the only people who are nice to us turn out to be Moonies.

P.J. O'Rourke

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist

New York City People Places

Utter cowards who force their own children to drink wine, they gibber like baboons even when you try to speak to them in their own wimpy language.

P.J. O'Rourke

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist

Insults People Of the French

Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and illiterate sport fisherman.

P.J. O'Rourke

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist

Canada Places

Keeping house is as unpleasant and filthy as coal mining, and the pay's a lot worse.

P.J. O'Rourke

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist

Activities Housework

The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.

P.J. O'Rourke

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist

Government Places Mystery Washington

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.

P.J. O'Rourke

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist

Golf Sports

All bachelors love dogs, and we would love children just as much if they could be taught to retrieve.

P.J. O'Rourke

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist

Animals Dogs Bachelors

… what is your host’s purpose in having a party; surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose they’d have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.

P.J. O'Rourke

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist

Activities Parties

Quotes and One Liners

humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more

Categories

Additional Categories

Oops...

Some Popular Authors

Author: P.J. O'Rourke Page 2

Satan probably wouldn’t have talked so big if God had been his wife.

The only really firm rule of taste about cross dressing is that neither sex should ever wear anything they haven’t yet figured out how to go to the bathroom in.

Compared to the Clintons, Reagan is living proof that a Republican with half a brain is better than a Democrat with two.

The French are sawed-off sissies who eat snails and slugs and cheese that smells like people's feet.

A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life.

Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is.

Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living.

You can always reason with a German… you can always reason with a barnyard animal, too, for all the good it does.

Some people are better imagined in one's bed than found there in the morning.

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free.

Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

I’ve only been a New Yorker for ten years but the only people who are nice to us turn out to be Moonies.

Utter cowards who force their own children to drink wine, they gibber like baboons even when you try to speak to them in their own wimpy language.

Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and illiterate sport fisherman.

Keeping house is as unpleasant and filthy as coal mining, and the pay's a lot worse.

The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.

All bachelors love dogs, and we would love children just as much if they could be taught to retrieve.

… what is your host’s purpose in having a party; surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose they’d have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.