Author Pat Williams | Just-One-Liners.com

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Author: Pat Williams

To symbolize our great relationship, I'd like you to have this framed x-ray of my ulcer.

(1941 – ) American basketball executive

Basketball Sports Submitting his resignation to 76ers's owner Harold Katz

Charles joined my family for a day at the beach and my children asked if they could go into the ocean; I had to tell them “Not right now kids, Charles is using it.”

(1941 – ) American basketball executive

Basketball Sports On Charles Barkley’s size

The Orlando Magic were so bad last season, the cheerleaders stayed home and phoned in their cheers.

(1941 – ) American basketball executive

Basketball Sports

What do you have when you've got an agent buried up to his neck in sand? … Not enough sand.

(1941 – ) American basketball executive

Basketball Sports Agents

We told Stanley Roberts to go on a water diet, and Lake Superior disappeared.

(1941 – ) American basketball executive

Basketball Sports Water diet

We can't win at home and we can't win on the road. My problem as general manager is I can't think of another place to play.

(1941 – ) American basketball executive

Basketball Sports On a 17-game Orlando Magic losing streak

He's so fat his bathtub has stretch marks.

(1941 – ) American basketball executive

Appearance Body Fat Insults On Charles Barkley

We can’t win at home… we can’t win on the road; as general manager, I just can’t figure out where else to play.

(1941 – ) American basketball executive

Basketball Misspokements Sports On his team's 7-27 record