Author: Paul Lynde

Peter Marshall: What’s that thing to the east of Sweden?

Paul Lynde: Have you seen Anita Ekberg lately?

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, True or false… nylon is stronger than steel?

Paul Lynde: But steel panties don’t turn me on!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, in the early days of Hollywood, who was usually found atop Tony, the Wonder Horse?

Paul Lynde: My Friend Flicka.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What did the Lone Ranger always leave behind when he left town?

Paul Lynde: A masked baby.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to the nursery rhyme, what did Little Bo Peep’s sheep leave behind them?

Paul Lynde: Well, Simple Simon thought they were bread crumbs!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Fred Astaire says, his mother has been trying to get him to do this since he was 35. But he hasn’t done it and says he won’t do it until he’s ready. Do what?

Paul Lynde: Move out of the house!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Lana Turner recently said, “I won’t do it because I haven’t stopped living my life by a long shot.” What won’t she do?

Paul Lynde: The Merv Griffin show.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Can you get 12 pounds of feathers out of a goose?

Paul Lynde: I got them in there, didn’t I?

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to the old song, “At night, when you’re asleep, into your tent I’ll creep.” Who am I?

Paul Lynde: The scoutmaster!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What do you call a bull that can’t have kids?

Paul Lynde: Anthony Quinn.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… in Sweden, a person can get an instant divorce?

Paul Lynde: Yes, from poisoned meatballs.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, True or false… occasionally, a bull moose will hear the horn of diesel train and will run to it thinking that it is its lover?

Paul Lynde: And heaven help the conductor!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:  Paul, where at any one time will you find one quarter of the earth's population?

Paul Lynde: Crossing the Rio Grande.  (He pronounced it "Gran-dee," with emphasis on the first syllable)

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Why was Daniel thrown to the den of lions?

Paul Lynde: For jaywalking in Jerusalem.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Little Red Riding Hood was on her way to her grandma’s house. On her way there, she stopped to get something for her grandma. To get what?

Paul Lynde: Feen-a-mints.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: To Roy Rogers, what is Cowboy Heaven?

Paul Lynde: Seven minutes with Tammy Wynette!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, does Ann Landers think there is anything wrong with you if you do your housework in the nude?

Paul Lynde: No, but I have to be terribly careful when I do my ironing.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: A woman named Jane Grey has a place of history because of something she did for 10 consecutive days that few women have ever done. What did she do? Jane Grey?

Paul Lynde: Wasn’t she married to Eddie Fisher?

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, Pat Nixon says it’s difficult to sleep with President Nixon because of something he does in the middle of the night. What is it?

Paul Lynde: He’s digging a tunnel.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Your date’s had a great shock, now she’s fainted. According to experts you should loosen her clothing, and do one other thing. What?

Paul Lynde: Send a postcard requesting an ambulance.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… NASA officials report that when Chinese vice-premier Dang visited the astronaut training headquarters recently, the one big question he demanded to know was… where the astronauts go to the bathroom?!

Paul Lynde: The answer was over China!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares