Author: Paul Lynde Page 11

Peter Marshall: Julie Nixon Eisenhower recently told reporters “You don’t know what a relief it is not to worry about having them around all the time!.” What are “they?”

Paul Lynde: Mom and Dad.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Why was Daniel thrown to the den of lions?

Paul Lynde: For jaywalking in Jerusalem.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, in ancient Rome, bakers were required by law to bake something into each loaf of bread. What?

Paul Lynde: A Christian.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Little Red Riding Hood was on her way to her grandma’s house. On her way there, she stopped to get something for her grandma. To get what?

Paul Lynde: Feen-a-mints.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What’s that thing to the east of Sweden?

Paul Lynde: Have you seen Anita Ekberg lately?

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, can you get an elephant drunk?

Paul Lynde: Yes, but he still won't go up to your apartment.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Where does most of the olive oil in the world come from?

Paul Lynde: Caesar Romero’s comb.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?

Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Liberace has a new book out called The Things I…?

Paul Lynde: Put in my hair.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Miscellaneous

Peter Marshall: True or false… many of our highways and railroads were built directly on the trails left by bison?

Paul Lynde: So that’s why the roads are so bumpy.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Imagine you are a child in your mother’s womb, can you detect light?

Paul Lynde: Only during ballet practice.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag his tail. What will a goose do?

Paul Lynde: Make him bark.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: A recent hearing, opponents of fluorinated water argue that too much fluorine in a persons system can cause an uncontrollable desire for sex?

Paul Lynde (shouting): HEY CULLIGAN MAN!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Dale Evans recently revealed the three secrets behind her happy marriage with Roy Rogers. Now listen carefully… "We work together, we pray together and we're darn good…" What?

Paul Lynde: In the saddle.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Miscellaneous

Peter Marshall: What should you do if you’re going 55 miles per hour and your tires suddenly blow out?

Paul Lynde: Honk if you believe in Jesus.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Who was known as “Old Blood and Guts?”

Paul Lynde: Barbara Stanwyck.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Something happened to Marlon Brando in 1955, and afterward he told friends he thought it would happen to Bing Crosby instead. What happened?

Paul Lynde: Oh, one of Bing's sons asked him for money.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: You have a bunch of unwanted hair. According to Dr. Thotusen, what is most often the cause of unwanted hair? A bunch of it?

Paul Lynde: Running over a llama.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Besides a baton, what did Xavier Cugat always have in his hand when he lead his orchestra?

Paul Lynde: Arthritis.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Is there any such thing as an F cup in bra sizes?

Paul Lynde: Yes, it sleeps four.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?

Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn’t neglected!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares