Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Paul Lynde Page 2
Peter Marshall: True or false… according to the White House chefs, if the President had his way, daily lunch would consist of nothing more than a sandwich and a beer.Paul Lynde: Even in public school?
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: According to
The Book of Fairies,
who is that creature who stands 14 inches tall, is 400 years old, and is dressed all in Lincoln green?Paul Lynde: The Emperor Hirohito.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: In what Dickens classic, Paul, will you find the phrase “You may find us rough, sir, but you’ll find us ready?” Paul Lynde:
Little Women.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Paul, where at any one time will you find one quarter of the earth's population?Paul Lynde: Crossing the Rio Grande. (He pronounced it "Gran-dee," with emphasis on the first syllable)
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: When Burt Reynolds saw his pictures in
Cosmopolitan,
he said he had something that reminded him of Roy Rogers. What was it? Paul Lynde: Saddle sores… they both spend so much time in the saddle!
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Paul, True or false… nylon is stronger than steel?Paul Lynde: But steel panties don’t turn me on!
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: According to the nursery rhyme, what did Little Bo Peep’s sheep leave behind them? Paul Lynde: Well, Simple Simon thought they were bread crumbs!
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: What’s the one thing you should never do in bed?Paul Lynde: Point and laugh!
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Eddie Fisher recently stated, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for them both.” Who or what was he referring to?Paul Lynde: His fans.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Flip Wilson has said that he’s eaten about 2,000 of them and enjoyed them immensely. To what was he referring?Paul Lynde: Missionaries
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: True or false… your teeth are about the same size and shape as a pig's?Paul Lynde: Look who's talking, Beaverface!
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Now listen carefully, Paul. If you have one it’s a moose. If you have two, it’s a….? Paul Lynde: It’s a mess!
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: The U.S. will soon reportedly share a secret with Japan. What is it?Paul Lynde: The location of the Pacific Fleet.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: True or false… Paul…champagne glasses were designed to resemble Marie Antoinette’s bosom?Paul Lynde: And we have Karen (Valentine) to thank for the shot glass!
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: True or false… Guatemala once declared war on Germany.Paul Lynde: Yes, and it's a good thing Germany never found out!
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Henry Kissinger was recently quoted as saying, “They aren’t even sexy!” Who was he referring to?Paul Lynde: The Joint Chiefs of Staff.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: According to the French Chef, Julia Child, how much is a pinch?Paul Lynde: Just enough to turn her on.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: According to Parade Magazine, almost half of the dogs in the United states have a common problem, and it affects a lot of people too. What?Paul Lynde: Water on the knee.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Do female frogs croak? Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Sophia Loren recently revealed that when she was a child she never played with something. What?Paul Lynde: The L.A.Rams.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Paul, the Rio Grande River separates Texas and Mexico. What does “Rio Grande” mean in Spanish?Paul Lynde: El Washing Machine.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
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