Author: Paul Lynde Page 3

Peter Marshall: Teddy Roosevelt maintained that he had something removed from two United States coins purely for the sake of art. What?

Paul Lynde: The bottom half of the buffalo.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Can chewing gum help prevent a child from catching a cold?

Paul Lynde: No, but I know it’ll plug a runny nose.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: A photograph of Queen Elizabeth had her stepping onto the shores of Bangkok, onto a carpet made of what?

Paul Lynde: 40% Dacron.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… Guatemala once declared war on Germany.

Paul Lynde: Yes, and it's a good thing Germany never found out!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Fidel Castro recently gave Yugoslavia’s Marshall Tito a gift. What was it?

Paul Lynde: A cheap, hand–painted tie.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In Greek mythology, what would the god Morpheus do to you while you were asleep?

Paul Lynde: I don’t know, but I got an enchanted hickie.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… research indicates that Columbus liked to wear bloomers and long stockings.

Paul Lynde: It’s not easy to sign a crew up for six months…

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… according to the White House chefs, if the President had his way, daily lunch would consist of nothing more than a sandwich and a beer.

Paul Lynde: Even in public school?

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… George Jessel has a 9 year old daughter.

Paul Lynde: False. It’s his girlfriend

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: You became a mother two months ago. And you’ve been feeling a bit depressed lately. According to Cosmopolitan magazine, is this normal?

Paul Lynde: I hate these stretch marks!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… Zsa Zsa Gabor is a deputy sheriff in Chicago?

Paul Lynde: It’s a pity that she couldn’t make it in show business.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: To Roy Rogers, what is Cowboy Heaven?

Paul Lynde: Seven minutes with Tammy Wynette!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to the IRS, out of every 10 Americans audited, how many end up paying more taxes?

Paul Lynde: 11.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Who never rises for the bride and groom?

Paul Lynde: Ironside.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, what landed “I know not where?”

Paul Lynde: Amelia Earhart.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What’s the one thing you should never do in bed?

Paul Lynde: Point and laugh!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: When Richard Nixon was Vice-President, he went someplace on a “good will mission,” but instead wound up being stoned and shouted at. Where did this take place?

Paul Lynde: Pat’s room.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Your date’s had a great shock, now she’s fainted. According to experts you should loosen her clothing, and do one other thing. What?

Paul Lynde: Send a postcard requesting an ambulance.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false, Dan Rowan hasn’t spoken to either his daughter or Peter Lawford since their marriage?

Paul Lynde: I don’t think anyone has seen them except for room service.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: You’ve gone from egg, to larvae, to pupae. What’s next?

Paul Lynde: A shave and a shower and off to work!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to psychologists, when a child begins to get curious about sex, what is the one question he will most ask his mommy and daddy?

Paul Lynde: Where can I get some?

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares