Author: Paul Lynde Page 5

Peter Marshall: Glen Campbell recently stated, “Love to me is something you…” Something you what?

Paul Lynde: Purchase.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… research indicates that Columbus liked to wear bloomers and long stockings.

Paul Lynde: It’s not easy to sign a crew up for six months…

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: At the end of the movie The Planet of the Apes, what does Charlton Heston see that makes him realize that he is actually in New York City?

Paul Lynde: A Puerto Rican.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: It used to be called “9-pin.” What’s it called today?

Paul Lynde: Foreplay!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… George Jessel has a 9 year old daughter.

Paul Lynde: False. It’s his girlfriend

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, True or false… nylon is stronger than steel?

Paul Lynde: But steel panties don’t turn me on!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In television, who lived in Doodyville?

Paul Lynde: The Ty-De-Bowl Man.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Good Housekeeping Magazine, Lucille Ball was 40 years old before she had her first what?

Paul Lynde: Red hair.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to legend, who looks better, a pixie or a fairy?

Paul Lynde (in deeper voice): Well, looks aren’t everything!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, the state flag of Alabama is all white with one very distinctive feature. What is it?

Paul Lynde: Eye holes!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Are there any nudist camps in Italy?

Paul Lynde: No, the flies would eat you alive.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: If a women becomes pregnant while employed, is she now entitled to six weeks maternity leave?

Paul Lynde: Only if the baby resembles the boss.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Prometheus was tied to the top of a mountain by the gods because he had given something to man. What did he give us?

Paul Lynde: I don’t know what you got, but I got a sports shirt.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: The book of Proverbs in the Bible tells us that there is one thing that remains firm forever. What is it?

Paul Lynde: A topless Eskimo.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Howard Cosell’s wife recently said in an interview that her husband tells her this at least five times a day. What does he say to her?

Paul Lynde: Is my toupee back from the cleaners?

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What are “dual purpose” cattle good for that other cattle aren’t?

Paul Lynde: They give milk and cookies… but I don’t recommend the cookies!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In The Wizard of Oz, the lion wanted courage and the tin man wanted a heart. What did the scarecrow want?

Paul Lynde: He wanted the tin man to notice him.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… Zsa Zsa Gabor is a deputy sheriff in Chicago?

Paul Lynde: It’s a pity that she couldn’t make it in show business.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, can you get an elephant drunk?

Paul Lynde: Yes, but he still won't go up to your apartment.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:  Paul, the Rio Grande River separates Texas and Mexico.  What does “Rio Grande” mean in Spanish?

Paul Lynde:  El Washing Machine.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… according to the Bible, you are a sinner?

Paul Lynde: As long as they spelled my name right.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares