Author: Paul Lynde Page 9

Peter Marshall: What’s that thing to the east of Sweden?

Paul Lynde: Have you seen Anita Ekberg lately?

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Your rooster has been fixed so that he no longer has romantic interest in hens. What is the proper word for him now?

Paul Lynde: Suicidal.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, when the citizens of China want a drink of water, they usually do something to it first. What?

Paul Lynde: Remove the shirts.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Sophia Loren has written a cookbook which will be published this spring entitled, “Cooking With …” Cooking with what?

Paul Lynde: Cooking with a three-foot-long spoon.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: You’ve gone from egg, to larvae, to pupae. What’s next?

Paul Lynde: A shave and a shower and off to work!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: You are married in India. How did you probably meet your spouse?

Paul Lynde: We were fighting over a lima bean.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, can you get an elephant drunk?

Paul Lynde: Yes, but he still won't go up to your apartment.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Under the right circumstances, could a 100-year-old man father a child?

Paul Lynde: With a nurse and maybe a mortician standing by.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Your date’s had a great shock, now she’s fainted. According to experts you should loosen her clothing, and do one other thing. What?

Paul Lynde: Send a postcard requesting an ambulance.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Billy Graham, is immorality contagious?

Paul Lynde: I know he was down with it for about a month.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Back in the 1870s, Emile Berliner invented something, and without it, I wouldn’t be able to do my job. What was it?

Paul Lynde: Let’s see… toupees? … facelifts? … contact lenses?… makeup? … capped teeth? … loud sports jackets?…

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Dale Evans recently revealed the three secrets behind her happy marriage with Roy Rogers. Now listen carefully… "We work together, we pray together and we're darn good…" What?

Paul Lynde: In the saddle.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Miscellaneous

Peter Marshall: According to Coronet, do most men feel uneasy around women with really large breasts?

Paul Lynde: Yes, they run for cover.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?

Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn’t neglected!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Good Housekeeping Magazine, Lucille Ball was 40 years old before she had her first what?

Paul Lynde: Red hair.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Your date’s had a great shock, now she’s fainted. According to experts you should loosen her clothing, and do one other thing. What?

Paul Lynde: Send a postcard requesting an ambulance.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, during a visit to the Moscow State Circus, Pat Nixon shook hands with something unusual. What?

Paul Lynde: The bearded lady, Mrs. Kosygin.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: On radio, Margo Lane knew something about young, handsome, wealthy Lamont Cranston. In fact, she knew about Lamont Cranston, things that no one else knew. What was it?

Paul Lynde: That his bellybutton was an outsie.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In television, who lived in Doodyville?

Paul Lynde: The Ty-De-Bowl Man.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, the Rio Grande River separates Texas and Mexico. What does “Rio Grande” mean in Spanish?

Paul Lynde: El Washing Machine.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Does Mark Spitz believe swimming in the nude helps you go faster?

Paul Lynde: Well, it’s easy to steer.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares