Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Paula Poundstone
I'm the only person I know of who's ever been pulled over for attempted speeding.
Paula Poundstone
(1959 – ) American comedian
Autos
Things
Speeding
I was born in Alabama, but I only lived there for a month before I'd done everything there was to do.
Paula Poundstone
(1959 – ) American comedian
Places
Alabama
The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
Paula Poundstone
(1959 – ) American comedian
Characteristics
Taxes
Sin
Wages
Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas.
Paula Poundstone
(1959 – ) American comedian
Age
Children
Ideas
The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look whether they’ve seen a moth or an ax murder.
Paula Poundstone
(1959 – ) American comedian
Animals
Cats
We need a twelve-step group for compulsive talkers; they could call it On Anon Anon.
Paula Poundstone
(1959 – ) American comedian
Communication
People
Speech
Talking
I don't have a bank account, because I don't know my mother's maiden name.
Paula Poundstone
(1959 – ) American comedian
Money
Mothers
Bank account
Maiden name
The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it’s just sort of a tired feeling.
Paula Poundstone
(1959 – ) American comedian
Miscellaneous
Sin