Author Redd Foxx | Just-One-Liners.com

Author: Redd Foxx

We were poor… if I wasn’t a boy, I wouldn’t have had nothing to play with.

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

Peter Marshall: According to Zsa Zsa, does black look sexy on a woman?
Redd Foxx: I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

Hollywood Squares

The food here is so tasteless you could eat a meal of it and belch and it wouldn’t remind you of anything.

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

Food/Drink

Esther, warn me before you come in so I have a chance to cover all of the mirrors!.

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

Appearance Insults As Fred Sanford in “Sanford and Son”

I’m 65. People say I look 55. I feel 45. I’d settle for 35 and you make me feel 25.

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

Age TV/Movie Quotes As Fred Sanford in “Sanford and Son”

I’m callin’ you ugly, I could stick yo face in some dough and make some gorilla cookies.

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

Appearance TV/Movie Quotes Ugly As Fred Sanford in “Sanford and Son”

A girl’s legs are her best friends, but the best of friends must part.

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

Sex

Aunt Esther: Fred Sanford, the wrath of God will strike you down.
Fred: And this Louisville slugger will knock you out.

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

TV/Movie Quotes As Fred Sanford in “Sanford and Son”

What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? … A pickpocket snatches watches.

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

Miscellaneous Peeping Tom Pickpocket

My first wife, I’ll never forget her… and I’ve tried.

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

Marriage Wives

Peter Marshall: Redd, of the stolen cars in this country, are many of them ever recovered?
Redd Foxx: Why sure, I had one recovered in zebra once.

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

Hollywood Squares

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

Death Life Health nuts Hospitals

Some people just shake’n bake, but I buy’n fry.

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

TV/Movie Quotes As Fred Sanford in “Sanford and Son”

My Elizabeth was as pure as the driven snow; and I am the only driver she ever had!

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

Miscellaneous As Fred Sanford in “Sanford and Son”

Peter Marshall: True or false… most African soccer teams have their own witch doctor.
Redd Foxx: That’s true…and their motto is, “If you can’t beat ‘em, eat ‘em.”

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

Hollywood Squares

Aunt Esther: My body was blessed by Mother Nature, honey.
Fred: And as you got older, it was cursed by Father Time.

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

Appearance TV/Movie Quotes Ugly As Fred Sanford in “Sanford and Son”

If God wanted you to eat Puerto Rican Food, he would have lined your stomach with Pepto Bismol.

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

TV/Movie Quotes As Fred Sanford in “Sanford and Son”

If you see the handwriting on the wall, you’re in the toilet..

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

TV/Movie Quotes As Fred Sanford in “Sanford and Son”

Esther, you wouldn’t want a drink, because you are a drink… a zombie!.

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

Insults As Fred Sanford in “Sanford and Son”

Beauty may be skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

Appearance Ugly Also Dorothy Parker Beauty

Aunt Esther: Who you calling ugly, sucker?
Fred: I’m calling you ugly, I could push our face in some dough and make gorilla cookies.

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

Appearance TV/Movie Quotes Ugly As Fred Sanford in “Sanford and Son”

Quotes and One Liners

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Author: Redd Foxx

We were poor… if I wasn’t a boy, I wouldn’t have had nothing to play with.

Peter Marshall: According to Zsa Zsa, does black look sexy on a woman?
Redd Foxx: I wouldn’t have it any other way.

The food here is so tasteless you could eat a meal of it and belch and it wouldn’t remind you of anything.

Esther, warn me before you come in so I have a chance to cover all of the mirrors!.

I’m 65. People say I look 55. I feel 45. I’d settle for 35 and you make me feel 25.

I’m callin’ you ugly, I could stick yo face in some dough and make some gorilla cookies.

A girl’s legs are her best friends, but the best of friends must part.

Aunt Esther: Fred Sanford, the wrath of God will strike you down.
Fred: And this Louisville slugger will knock you out.

What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? … A pickpocket snatches watches.

My first wife, I’ll never forget her… and I’ve tried.

Peter Marshall: Redd, of the stolen cars in this country, are many of them ever recovered?
Redd Foxx: Why sure, I had one recovered in zebra once.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Some people just shake’n bake, but I buy’n fry.

My Elizabeth was as pure as the driven snow; and I am the only driver she ever had!

Peter Marshall: True or false… most African soccer teams have their own witch doctor.
Redd Foxx: That’s true…and their motto is, “If you can’t beat ‘em, eat ‘em.”

Aunt Esther: My body was blessed by Mother Nature, honey.
Fred: And as you got older, it was cursed by Father Time.

If God wanted you to eat Puerto Rican Food, he would have lined your stomach with Pepto Bismol.

If you see the handwriting on the wall, you’re in the toilet..

Esther, you wouldn’t want a drink, because you are a drink… a zombie!.

Beauty may be skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.

Aunt Esther: Who you calling ugly, sucker?
Fred: I’m calling you ugly, I could push our face in some dough and make gorilla cookies.