Author Redd Foxx | Just-One-Liners.com

Author: Redd Foxx

My first wife, I’ll never forget her… and I’ve tried.

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

Marriage Wives

Aunt Esther: Who you calling ugly, sucker?
Fred: I’m calling you ugly, I could push our face in some dough and make gorilla cookies.

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

Appearance TV/Movie Quotes Ugly As Fred Sanford in “Sanford and Son”

We were poor… if I wasn’t a boy, I wouldn’t have had nothing to play with.

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

Money Poverty Self Also Rodney Dangerfield

Peter Marshall: According to Zsa Zsa, does black look sexy on a woman?
Redd Foxx: I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

Hollywood Squares

My Elizabeth was as pure as the driven snow; and I am the only driver she ever had!

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

Miscellaneous As Fred Sanford in “Sanford and Son”

Esther, warn me before you come in so I have a chance to cover all of the mirrors!.

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

Appearance Insults As Fred Sanford in “Sanford and Son”

Aunt Esther: My body was blessed by Mother Nature, honey.
Fred: And as you got older, it was cursed by Father Time.

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

Appearance TV/Movie Quotes Ugly As Fred Sanford in “Sanford and Son”

Esther, you wouldn’t want a drink, because you are a drink… a zombie!.

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

Insults As Fred Sanford in “Sanford and Son”

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

Death Life Health nuts Hospitals

Beauty may be skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

Appearance Ugly Also Dorothy Parker Beauty

I’m callin’ you ugly, I could stick yo face in some dough and make some gorilla cookies.

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

Appearance TV/Movie Quotes Ugly As Fred Sanford in “Sanford and Son”

A girl’s legs are her best friends, but the best of friends must part.

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

Sex

What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? … A pickpocket snatches watches.

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

Miscellaneous Peeping Tom Pickpocket

I’m 65. People say I look 55. I feel 45. I’d settle for 35 and you make me feel 25.

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

Age TV/Movie Quotes As Fred Sanford in “Sanford and Son”

Aunt Esther: Fred Sanford, the wrath of God will strike you down.
Fred: And this Louisville slugger will knock you out.

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

TV/Movie Quotes As Fred Sanford in “Sanford and Son”

The food here is so tasteless you could eat a meal of it and belch and it wouldn’t remind you of anything.

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

Food/Drink

If you see the handwriting on the wall, you’re in the toilet..

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

TV/Movie Quotes As Fred Sanford in “Sanford and Son”

If God wanted you to eat Puerto Rican Food, he would have lined your stomach with Pepto Bismol.

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

TV/Movie Quotes As Fred Sanford in “Sanford and Son”

Peter Marshall: Redd, of the stolen cars in this country, are many of them ever recovered?
Redd Foxx: Why sure, I had one recovered in zebra once.

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… most African soccer teams have their own witch doctor.
Redd Foxx: That’s true…and their motto is, “If you can’t beat ‘em, eat ‘em.”

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

Hollywood Squares

Some people just shake’n bake, but I buy’n fry.

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

TV/Movie Quotes As Fred Sanford in “Sanford and Son”

Quotes and One Liners

humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more

Categories

Additional Categories

Oops...

Some Popular Authors

Author: Redd Foxx

My first wife, I’ll never forget her… and I’ve tried.

Aunt Esther: Who you calling ugly, sucker?
Fred: I’m calling you ugly, I could push our face in some dough and make gorilla cookies.

We were poor… if I wasn’t a boy, I wouldn’t have had nothing to play with.

Peter Marshall: According to Zsa Zsa, does black look sexy on a woman?
Redd Foxx: I wouldn’t have it any other way.

My Elizabeth was as pure as the driven snow; and I am the only driver she ever had!

Esther, warn me before you come in so I have a chance to cover all of the mirrors!.

Aunt Esther: My body was blessed by Mother Nature, honey.
Fred: And as you got older, it was cursed by Father Time.

Esther, you wouldn’t want a drink, because you are a drink… a zombie!.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Beauty may be skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.

I’m callin’ you ugly, I could stick yo face in some dough and make some gorilla cookies.

A girl’s legs are her best friends, but the best of friends must part.

What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? … A pickpocket snatches watches.

I’m 65. People say I look 55. I feel 45. I’d settle for 35 and you make me feel 25.

Aunt Esther: Fred Sanford, the wrath of God will strike you down.
Fred: And this Louisville slugger will knock you out.

The food here is so tasteless you could eat a meal of it and belch and it wouldn’t remind you of anything.

If you see the handwriting on the wall, you’re in the toilet..

If God wanted you to eat Puerto Rican Food, he would have lined your stomach with Pepto Bismol.

Peter Marshall: Redd, of the stolen cars in this country, are many of them ever recovered?
Redd Foxx: Why sure, I had one recovered in zebra once.

Peter Marshall: True or false… most African soccer teams have their own witch doctor.
Redd Foxx: That’s true…and their motto is, “If you can’t beat ‘em, eat ‘em.”

Some people just shake’n bake, but I buy’n fry.