Author: Rhea Perlman

Frasier: Lilith is carrying a dead rat in her purse. Why would she be carrying a dead rat in her purse?

Carla: Just a wild guess: a snack?

(1948 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

Diane: I thought you were seeing someone.

Carla: His fingerprints grew back. He had to leave the country.

(1948 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

You know I don’t ask for much in this life; fresh fish, ten cents off on laundry detergent, volcanic boils all over my ex-husband, and the Sox in the Series again before I die.

(1948 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

Diane: You know, Sam. If I am to serve both as a waitress and the butt of jokes I think I should make more money.

Carla: Yeah, what does a good butt make in this town?

(1948 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

If you can’t say anything nice… say it about Diane.

(1948 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

Sam: You probably want to get on home.

Carla: Are you kiddin’? It’s two a.m., my kids might be there.

(1948 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

[Sam and Diane are fighting… yet again] Carla: Oh, now why would I want to miss this? Yet another episode of The Young and the Chestless?

(1948 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

Rebecca: You guys, I have my new wedding dress. And now all I need is something old, something borrowed, and something blue.

Carla: How ‘bout Norm’s liver?

(1948 – ) American actress
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

Cliff: It’s a little know fact that 42% of deaths in America are caused by accidents in the home.

Carla: So were you.

(1948 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

Cliff: Hey Carla, I have a potato that looks like Richard Milhouse Nixon.

Carla: Big deal. Show me one that doesn’t.

(1948 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

Cliff: Sometimes I’m ashamed God made me a man.

Carla: I don’t think God’s doing a whole lot of bragging about it either.

(1948 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

Frasier: I’ve been taking stock of myself.

Carla: Not exactly AT&T, is it?

(1948 – ) American actress
Self TV/Movie Quotes

I am going to spend it all [her good tips] on my kids … how many gunny sacks and one way tickets do you think it will buy?

(1948 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

Lilith: Well, I’m off. I don’t know what the future holds. Whatever happens, I only hope I can realize my full potential. To acquire things the old Lilith never had.

Carla: Like a body temperature?

(1948 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

Diane: Name calling, the last refuge of the monosyllabic.

Carla: I don’t know what that means but I heard slob in there.

(1948 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

Diane: Oh no. The thing I feared most has happened.

Carla: What? Your Living Bra died of boredom?

(1948 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

Norm: I want something light and cold.

Carla: Sorry, it’s Diane’s day off.

(1948 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

Diane: This is Heather Landon, my oldest friend.

Carla: Meet her this morning?

(1948 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

Frasier: I just came off a seven year marriage. It’s hard to think of replacing Lilith.

Carla: Just go to the morgue and open any drawer.

(1948 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

Diane: He’s trying to make a mountain out of a molehill.

Carla: He wants you to wear a padded bra?

(1948 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes