Author: Richard Lewis Page 3

I have lowered my expectations, sexually; I don’t care what happens in bed anymore as long as I don’t make any grammatical errors.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Sex

I don’t blame my parents for my dysfunctions… I blame their parents.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Family Parents

I'm the Descartes of anxiety; I panic, therefore I am.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Characteristics

I wrote my nightmares out this afternoon so I can get a good night’s sleep tonight.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Activities Sleep

There’s nothing to fear but life itself.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Emotions Fear Wordplay

I can’t do two things at once; I can’t have intercourse and enjoy myself at the same time.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Emotions Happiness

She said that after we had intercourse, I gave her an anti-climax.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Sex

My nightmares have coming attractions.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Activities Sleep

One of my uncles said that apparently at birth I snuck out… I thought maybe someone was following me.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Characteristics

Dealing with joy sometimes is more difficult than overcoming adversity if you enjoy self-loathng as a hobby.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Emotions