Author: Richard Lewis Page 3

This weekend I pulled a muscle in my cheeks trying to smile.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Health

Even at home, on my stationary exercise bike, I have a rearview mirror.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Characteristics

What’s a Jewish mobster?… ‘I’m going to break the legs of your therapist.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Conflict People

My grandfather used to make home movies and edit out the joy.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Emotions Happiness

The best tip for insomnia for me is not trying to sleep.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Activities Sleep

This greasy spoon restaurant was so bad, on the menu there were even flies in the pictures.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Food/Drink

My shrink told me it was pointless to believe in myself.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Beliefs Self

I'm the Descartes of anxiety; I panic, therefore I am.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Characteristics

The best way to have an affair without feeling guilty is to sleep with your therapist.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Sex

Before sleeping together today, people should boil themselves.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Sex