Author: Richard Lewis Page 3

I tried phone sex and got an ear infection.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Health Sex

There’s nothing to fear but life itself.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Emotions Fear Wordplay

On New Year’s Eve, people in New Jersey stay up ‘til midnight and watch their hopes drop.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Places

If I have an orgasm, I feel that I have to give six weeks of community service to various charities.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Activities Characteristics Sex

During sex I fantasize that I'm someone else.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
People Self Sex

If I have an orgasm, I feel that I have to give six weeks of community service to various charities.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Sex

My family wasn’t very religious; on Hanukkah, they had a menorah on a dimmer.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Beliefs Religion

I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Health

My shrink told me it was pointless to believe in myself.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Beliefs Self

This greasy spoon restaurant was so bad, on the menu there were even flies in the pictures.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Food/Drink