Author: Ring Lardner

He looked at me as if I was a side dish he hadn’t ordered.

(1885 – 1933) columnist & writer
People

Some of ours [umpires] is so crooked that they can lay in a berth only when the train’s making a curve.

(1885 – 1933) columnist & writer
Baseball Beliefs Sports

He gave her a look you could have poured on a waffle.

(1885 – 1933) columnist & writer
Relationships Situations

Watching an America's Cup race is like watching grass grow.

(1885 – 1933) columnist & writer
Sports

The race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the strong – but that's the way to bet.

(1885 – 1933) columnist & writer
Situations

Although he is a very poor fielder, he is a very poor hitter.

(1885 – 1933) columnist & writer
Baseball Sports

An optimist is a girl who mistakes a bulge for a curve.

(1885 – 1933) columnist & writer
Appearance Body Fat

Dancing with her was like moving a piano.

(1885 – 1933) columnist & writer
Activities Dance Insults