Author Rob Vaux | Just-One-Liners.com

Author: Rob Vaux Page 2

It doesn’t suck. Please take a moment to pick your jaw up off the floor and we’ll continue.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Rocky Balboa”

You’ll have more fun setting fire to yourself in the parking lot. You’ll be more entertained getting hit by a bus.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever”

It’s obvious that nobody believed in this project longer than it took for the check to clear.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “The Sentinel”

I suppose certain college fraternities could make screening it part of their hazing rituals.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Caligula”

A living testament to how low a studio will stoop to generate a few bucks.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Miscellaneous “Jaws 3”

Robbing casinos? Shit, these guys should be in charge of Katrina relief!

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Ocean’s Thirteen”

Psst! DreamWorks! Your Nemo envy is showing!

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Shark Tale”

Sun Tzu believed that becoming predictable would lead to disaster. Apparently, the creators of The Art of War couldn’t be bothered to take him to heart.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “The Art of War“

Though a scant 100 minutes long, After Earth feels longer and slower than your average PBS pledge drive.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Miscellaneous “After Earth”

Rarely has the phrase "going through the motions" felt more fitting.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Miscellaneous “R.I.P.D.”

My poor brain hung in there for as long as it could, but it lost its grip during the giant chicken attack and I haven’t seen it since.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “10 000 B.C.”

Not even Ian McKellan can bring it to life… and when Ian McKellan throws in the towel, you know the difficulties are too large to fix.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism The Da Vinci Code

This couple has endured for over 900 years; the least Tristan & Isolde can do is show us a reason why.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Tristan & Isolde”

Stop for a moment and ponder just how stupid it is to blow the ending of your movie in the title.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn”

Dragging your boyfriend/husband to this movie will give him the leverage to demand multiple screenings of Jerry Bruckheimer films as penance. Ladies, you have been warned.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Must Love Dogs”

Michael Madsen? Michelle Rodriguez? ‘I’ll take “Actors Who Should Never Appear in Period Pieces” for $500, Alex.’

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Bloodrayne”

Progressing from nowhere to nothing and leaving only a greasy taste in the mouth as a reward.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Conan the Barbarian”

House of Wax is cheap, dirty entertainment, and it knows it.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “House of Wax”

A tedious, astonishingly irritating march through scene after scene of quasi-Jungian horse flop.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Lady in the Water”

At least it’s not in 3D.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “The Hangover Part II”

Real-life military trainers – regardless of gender – never make you say, ‘Wow you’re hot!’ They make you say, ‘I’ll do whatever you want, please don’t hurt me.’

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Annapolis”

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Author: Rob Vaux Page 2

It doesn’t suck. Please take a moment to pick your jaw up off the floor and we’ll continue.

You’ll have more fun setting fire to yourself in the parking lot. You’ll be more entertained getting hit by a bus.

It’s obvious that nobody believed in this project longer than it took for the check to clear.

I suppose certain college fraternities could make screening it part of their hazing rituals.

A living testament to how low a studio will stoop to generate a few bucks.

Robbing casinos? Shit, these guys should be in charge of Katrina relief!

Psst! DreamWorks! Your Nemo envy is showing!

Sun Tzu believed that becoming predictable would lead to disaster. Apparently, the creators of The Art of War couldn’t be bothered to take him to heart.

Though a scant 100 minutes long, After Earth feels longer and slower than your average PBS pledge drive.

Rarely has the phrase "going through the motions" felt more fitting.

My poor brain hung in there for as long as it could, but it lost its grip during the giant chicken attack and I haven’t seen it since.

Not even Ian McKellan can bring it to life… and when Ian McKellan throws in the towel, you know the difficulties are too large to fix.

This couple has endured for over 900 years; the least Tristan & Isolde can do is show us a reason why.

Stop for a moment and ponder just how stupid it is to blow the ending of your movie in the title.

Dragging your boyfriend/husband to this movie will give him the leverage to demand multiple screenings of Jerry Bruckheimer films as penance. Ladies, you have been warned.

Michael Madsen? Michelle Rodriguez? ‘I’ll take “Actors Who Should Never Appear in Period Pieces” for $500, Alex.’

Progressing from nowhere to nothing and leaving only a greasy taste in the mouth as a reward.

House of Wax is cheap, dirty entertainment, and it knows it.

A tedious, astonishingly irritating march through scene after scene of quasi-Jungian horse flop.

At least it’s not in 3D.

Real-life military trainers – regardless of gender – never make you say, ‘Wow you’re hot!’ They make you say, ‘I’ll do whatever you want, please don’t hurt me.’