Author: Rod Schmidt Page 2

I eat Swiss cheese from the inside out.


Eating Food/Drink

I bought a million lottery tickets… I won a dollar.


Activities Money

Horses just naturally have Mohawk haircuts.


Animals Appearance

If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?


Emotions Situations

If you can wave a fan, and you can wave a club, can you wave a fan club?


Communication Language Things

There aren't enough days in the weekend.


Time

The sign said "eight items or less”… so I changed my name to Les.


People Self Situations

How many people does it take to change a searchlight bulb?


People

I went to a 7-11 and asked for a 2×4 and a box of 3×5′s and the clerk said, “ten-four.”


Activities Communication Language Shopping

Why doesn’t the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?


Appearance Body Fat Sports

I had my coathangers spayed.


Things

Droughts are because God didn’t pay his water bill.


God

I was born by Caesarean section, but you really can't tell… except that when I leave my house, I always go out the window.


Health

My friend Sam has one leg… I went to his house; I couldn't go up the stairs.


Situations

The sky is falling… no, I'm tipping over backwards.


Science/Weather Situations

In school, every period ends with a bell… every sentence ends with a period… every crime ends with a sentence.


Education School