Author: Rod Schmidt Page 2

I washed a sock… then I put it in the dryer and when I took it out, it was gone.


Situations

I Xeroxed a mirror and now I have an extra Xerox machine.


Things

A metaphor is like a simile.


Communication Language

I Xeroxed my watch… now I have time to spare.


Things Time

If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?


Emotions Situations

I Xeroxed my watch and now I can give away free watches.


Things

Horses just naturally have Mohawk haircuts.


Animals Appearance

If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?


Communication Reading/Writing

I went to a 7-11 and asked for a 2×4 and a box of 3×5′s and the clerk said, “ten-four.”


Activities Communication Language Shopping

The sign said "eight items or less”… so I changed my name to Les.


People Self Situations

I washed my edible underwear and now they're gone.


Appearance Clothing

I went to San Francisco; I found someone's heart.


America Places

How many people does it take to change a searchlight bulb?


People

Droughts are because God didn’t pay his water bill.


God

In school, every period ends with a bell… every sentence ends with a period… every crime ends with a sentence.


Education School

If you write the word "monkey" a million times, do you start to think you're
 Shakespeare?


Communication Reading/Writing