Author: Rod Schmidt Page 2

I eat Swiss cheese from the inside out.


Eating Food/Drink

Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.


Animals Things

Why doesn’t the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?


Appearance Body Fat Sports

I wear my heart on my sleeve… I wear my liver on my pant leg.


Appearance Body Characteristics Emotions Situations

I bought a million lottery tickets… I won a dollar.


Activities Money

I Xeroxed my watch and now I can give away free watches.


Things

A metaphor is like a simile.


Communication Language

I had amnesia… once or twice.


Health Memory

There aren't enough days in the weekend.


Time

Is "tired old cliche" one?


Communication Language

My friend Sam has one leg… I went to his house; I couldn't go up the stairs.


Situations

Ever try to Scotchgard a sponge?


Situations

I took a course in speed waiting… now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.


Learning Time

If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?


Emotions Situations

I Xeroxed a mirror and now I have an extra Xerox machine.


Things

Horses just naturally have Mohawk haircuts.


Animals Appearance