Author: Rod Schmidt Page 2

Horses just naturally have Mohawk haircuts.


Animals Appearance

My friend Sam has one leg… I went to his house; I couldn't go up the stairs.


Situations

If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?


Emotions Situations

If you write the word "monkey" a million times, do you start to think you're
 Shakespeare?


Communication Reading/Writing

If you take a oriental and turn him around so he faces west, does he become disoriented?


People Places

If you can wave a fan, and you can wave a club, can you wave a fan club?


Communication Language Things

How many people does it take to change a searchlight bulb?


People

A metaphor is like a simile.


Communication Language

In school, every period ends with a bell… every sentence ends with a period… every crime ends with a sentence.


Education School

Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.


Animals Things

I went to a fancy French restaurant called “Deja Vu”, and the headwaiter said, “Don’t I know you?”


Situations

I went to San Francisco; I found someone's heart.


America Places

Ever try to Scotchgard a sponge?


Situations

I was born by Caesarean section, but you really can't tell… except that when I leave my house, I always go out the window.


Health

I Xeroxed a mirror and now I have an extra Xerox machine.


Things

I Xeroxed my watch and now I can give away free watches.


Things