Author: Rod Schmidt Page 2

I went to a 7-11 and asked for a 2×4 and a box of 3×5′s and the clerk said, “ten-four.”


Activities Communication Language Shopping

Why doesn’t the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?


Appearance Body Fat Sports

Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.


Animals Things

I had amnesia… once or twice.


Health Memory

Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.


Activities Things

I Xeroxed my watch and now I can give away free watches.


Things

The sign said "eight items or less”… so I changed my name to Les.


People Self Situations

Ever try to Scotchgard a sponge?


Situations

The sky is falling… no, I'm tipping over backwards.


Science/Weather Situations

I went to San Francisco; I found someone's heart.


America Places

If you can wave a fan, and you can wave a club, can you wave a fan club?


Communication Language Things

My friend Sam has one leg… I went to his house; I couldn't go up the stairs.


Situations

If you take a oriental and turn him around so he faces west, does he become disoriented?


People Places

I took a course in speed waiting… now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.


Learning Time

A metaphor is like a simile.


Communication Language

If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?


Communication Reading/Writing