Author: Rod Schmidt Page 2

I bought a million lottery tickets… I won a dollar.


Activities Money

I Xeroxed a mirror and now I have an extra Xerox machine.


Things

I washed a sock… then I put it in the dryer and when I took it out, it was gone.


Situations

I went to a fancy French restaurant called “Deja Vu”, and the headwaiter said, “Don’t I know you?”


Situations

I wear my heart on my sleeve… I wear my liver on my pant leg.


Appearance Body Characteristics Emotions Situations

If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?


Emotions Situations

Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.


Activities Things

I took lessons in bicycle riding, but I could only afford half of them… now I can ride a unicycle.


Activities

I went to San Francisco; I found someone's heart.


America Places

I had amnesia… once or twice.


Health Memory

Ever try to Scotchgard a sponge?


Situations

Horses just naturally have Mohawk haircuts.


Animals Appearance

I know the guy who writes all those bumper stickers… and he hates New York.


New York City Places Things

If you can wave a fan, and you can wave a club, can you wave a fan club?


Communication Language Things

My friend Sam has one leg… I went to his house; I couldn't go up the stairs.


Situations

There aren't enough days in the weekend.


Time