Author: Roseanne Barr Page 2
The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner.
(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
I thank God for creating gay men; because if it wasn’t for them, us fat women would have no one to dance with.
(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
My husband said he needed more space… so I locked him outside.
(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
My husband complained to; ‘I can’t remember when we last had sex,’ and I said; well I can and that’s why why we ain’t doin’ it.
(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
People say to me, “You’re not feminine;” well, they can just suck my d**k.
(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Men can read maps better than women… cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equalling a hundred miles.
(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Chili represents your three stages of matter: solid, liquid, and eventually gas.
(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer