Author: Roseanne Barr Page 2
Men can read maps better than women… cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equalling a hundred miles.
(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
In Tulsa, restaurants have signs that say, 'Sorry, we're open.’
(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Excuse the mess but we live here.
(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
To expect life to treat you good is as foolish as hoping a bull won’t hit you because you are a vegetarian.
(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
I know how to do anything — I’m a mom.
(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Since I had my gastric bypass surgery in 1998, I eat like a bird… unfortunately, that bird is a California condor.
(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
I'm not upset about my divorce; I'm only upset I'm not a widow.
(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer