Author: Roseanne Barr Page 2
Have you heard about the woman who stabbed her husband thirty-seven times? … I admire her restraint.
(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
My husband said he needed more space… so I locked him outside.
(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
My husband complained to; ‘I can’t remember when we last had sex,’ and I said; well I can and that’s why why we ain’t doin’ it.
(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
In Tulsa, restaurants have signs that say, 'Sorry, we're open.’
(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Chili represents your three stages of matter: solid, liquid, and eventually gas.
(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
I know how to do anything — I’m a mom.
(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Birth control that really works – every night before we go to bed we spend an hour with our kids.
(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer