Author: S.J. Perelman

Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin; it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring.

(1904 – 1979) Jewish-American humorist, author & screenwriter
Emotions Love Sex

I have Bright's Disease… and he has mine.

(1904 – 1979) Jewish-American humorist, author & screenwriter
Health Wordplay

The dubious privilege of a freelance writer is he’s given the freedom to starve anywhere.

(1904 – 1979) Jewish-American humorist, author & screenwriter
Occupations Work

You're just wasting your breath and that's no great loss either!

(1904 – 1979) Jewish-American humorist, author & screenwriter
Communication Insults

God, whom you doubtless remember as that quaint old subordinate of General Douglas MacArthur…

(1904 – 1979) Jewish-American humorist, author & screenwriter
Insults Opinion

A farm is an irregular patch of nettles bounded by short-term notes, containing a fool and his wife who didn’t know enough to stay in the city.

(1904 – 1979) Jewish-American humorist, author & screenwriter
Definitions Places Things

He had the compassion of an icicle and the generosity of a pawnbroker.

(1904 – 1979) Jewish-American humorist, author & screenwriter
Insults

There is such a thing as too much couth.

(1904 – 1979) Jewish-American humorist, author & screenwriter
Characteristics

Fate was dealing from the bottom of the deck.

(1904 – 1979) Jewish-American humorist, author & screenwriter
Problems Situations