Author: Sam Ewing

Vacation: Two weeks on the sunny sands – and the rest of the year on the financial rocks.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Activities Money Places Time

If you believe the past can't be changed, you haven't read a celebrity's autobiography.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Books Communication People Reading/Writing

There's no thief like a bad movie.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Entertainment Film

The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Government Money

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Money

Nobody ever asks a father how he manages to combine marriage and a career.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Marriage Men People Women

The fastest way to meet new people is to pick up somebody else's change at a cocktail bar.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Money People

Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Communication Intelligence Speech

Your best friends are those who speak well of you behind your back.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Age Friends People

The average tourist wants to go to places where there are no tourists.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
People Places Travel

An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
People

In many instances, marriage vows would be more accurate if the phrase were changed to ‘Until debt do us part.’

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Marriage Money

Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Characteristics People Work