Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Sam Kinison
I don’t worry about terrorism… I was married for two years.
Sam Kinison
(1953 – 1992) American comedian
Conflict
Marriage
Terrorism
If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rimshots during the vows.
Sam Kinison
(1953 – 1992) American comedian
Marriage
Jesus is the only guy that ever came back from the dead that didn’t scare the f**k out of everybody!
Sam Kinison
(1953 – 1992) American comedian
Death
It was like going to church, except Ozzy Osbourne was there.
Sam Kinison
(1953 – 1992) American comedian
Situations
There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking; it’s called marriage.
Sam Kinison
(1953 – 1992) American comedian
Marriage
Money