Author: Samuel Butler

The advantage of doing one's praising to oneself is that one can lay it on so thick and exactly in the right places.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Characteristics

The difference between God and the historians consists above all in the fact that God cannot alter the past.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Beliefs God History Time

Brigands demand your money or your life; women require both.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
People Women

The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Characteristics Honesty Lies

He was born stupid, and greatly increased his birthright.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Insults Intelligence

All progress is based upon a universal innate desire on the part of every organism to live beyond its income.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Money

Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Animals People

A hen is an egg's way of making another egg.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Animals

In matrimony, to hesitate is sometimes to be saved.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Marriage

Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense to know how to lie well.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Characteristics Honesty Lies Truth

The function of vice is to keep virtue within reasonable bounds.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Characteristics

It is better to have loved and lost than never to have lost at all.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Emotions Love

An apology for the devil: it must be remembered that we have heard only one side of the case; God has written all the books.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Beliefs Books God

When you have told anyone you have left him a legacy the only decent thing to do is to die at once.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Death

Life is like playing a violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Death

Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Children Family Parents

The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Animals Dogs

Any fool can paint a picture, but it takes a wise man to be able to sell it.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Entertainment

Life is one long process of getting tired.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Life

I do not mind lying, but I hate inaccuracy.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Characteristics Honesty Lies

Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Government Laughter People