Author: Stewart Francis Page 4

When I was at school I was great at history… oh wait, no I wasn't.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Education History Learning Time

I have been called too vague by you know who… but you know the old saying…

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language

I had an unemployed dwarf do a bit of casual work for me; he asked to be paid under the table.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
People

Knock knock jokes are completely wasted on the homeless.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Entertainment

I was a trampoline salesman… off and on.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Work

I read today that 10 out of 2 people are dyslectic.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Health

My mum walked in on me wanking and looking at her wedding pictures. "You perv!" she screamed at me.
It's not what you think, Mum… I was looking at the priest.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Sex

I went to a therapy group to help me cope with loneliness, but no one else turned up.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Emotions

My teacher said I'd do much better at school if I stopped flirting… I immediately got off his lap.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Situations

I was going to join the debating team, but somebody talked me out of it.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Activities Communication Speech

My girlfriend thinks I’m very mature. She also thinks I’m incapable of being faithful. My wife, on the other hand…

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Characteristics Marriage Relationships

And even though I’m proud my father invented the rear view mirror, we’re not as close as we appear.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Family Fathers

I don’t think I could be gay… I just don’t have it in me.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
People Self

You're looking at a very proud Canadian who is very proud of the educational system in Canadia…

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Canada Communication Education Learning Places Reading/Writing

Sometimes I wonder what my grandfather would think of what I do, he spent his whole life in the kebab business, was buried with all his equipment, probably turning in his grave.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Life Situations

I'm not much of a storyteller… interesting how that all started…

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Speech

A cure for agoraphobics is just around the corner.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Health Language

You're looking at a very proud Canadian who is very proud of the educational system in Canadia.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Canada Education Learning

Regarding my family, I’m the youngest of three; my parents are both older.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Age Family Relationships

I really like what mechanics wear… overall.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Clothing Work

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language Situations