Author: Ted Danson

Diane: Sam, may I have a brief word with you?

Sam: I suppose you could, but I doubt it.

(1947) is an American actor, author & producer
TV/Movie Quotes

Diane: I’m sorry I was late, Sam. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?
Sam: Yeah, but you wouldn’t.

(1947) is an American actor, author & producer
TV/Movie Quotes

The closest I’ve ever come to saying "no" [to a woman] is "Not now, we’re landing."

(1947) is an American actor, author & producer
Sex

I could get out of prison after twelve years, serve on an all male ship for another four and be dropped on a desert island for another three eating nothing but raw oysters day after day and if one day Diane walked out of the surf naked, all I’d want from her is the hockey scores.

(1947) is an American actor, author & producer
TV/Movie Quotes

Diane: Over my dead body.

Sam: Hey, don’t bring last night into this.

(1947) is an American actor, author & producer
TV/Movie Quotes

Rebecca: What should I have done? Strip naked and dance on the tables to “Funky Cold Medina”?

Sam: We could help you rehearse.

(1947) is an American actor, author & producer
TV/Movie Quotes

Woody, next time you order beer, be more specific than “lots.”

(1947) is an American actor, author & producer
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

Sam: Somebody wants you at another table.
Diane: Who?
Sam: Everybody at this one.

(1947) is an American actor, author & producer
TV/Movie Quotes

Diane: And everyone knows that hate is not the opposite of love. Indifference is.
Sam: Well, whatever you say. I really don’t care.

(1947) is an American actor, author & producer
Love TV/Movie Quotes

Sam: Haven’t you got customers to be waiting on?
Diane: You ended that sentence with a preposition.
Sam: Haven’t you got customers to be waiting on, Mullet-head?

(1947) is an American actor, author & producer
TV/Movie Quotes