Author: Terry Pratchett

It’s the difference between using a feather and using a chicken.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Sex

Most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally evil, but by people being fundamentally people.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Characteristics History Time

A woman always has half an onion left over, no matter what the size of the onion, the dish or the woman.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Food/Drink

A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Husbands Marriage Wives

Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Science/Weather Things

It’s hard to be famous and alive.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Death Life

I’ll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there’s evidence of any thinking going on inside it.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Intelligence Thinking

Only in our dreams are we free; the rest of the time we need wages.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Life Money

Studies have shown that an ant can carry one hundred times its own weight, but there is no known limit to the lifting power of the average tiny eighty-year-old Spanish peasant grandmother.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Characteristics

Gravity is a habit that is hard to shake off.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Characteristics

The pen is mightier than the sword if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Communication Conflict Reading/Writing

Where's My Cow?

(1948 – ) English novelist
Book Titles

In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Animals Cats

Gods like to see an atheist around… gives them something to aim at.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Beliefs God

For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Animals

In the begining there was nothing, and it exploded.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Places Time

What our ancestors would really be thinking, if they were alive today, is: “Why is it so dark in here?”

(1948 – ) English novelist
Miscellaneous

Don’t think of it as dying; just think of it as leaving early to avoid the rush.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Death

The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Characteristics Honesty Intelligence Truth

An education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease; it made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Education

Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day; set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Situations