Author: Tina Fey Page 2

To show that his energy bill is about more than drilling for oil in Alaska. This week President Bush visited a plant in Virginia that turned soy beans into a clean burning diesel fuel; which the president hopes one day will be used to fuel oil drilling machines in Alaska.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
TV/Movie Quotes

U2 lead singer Bono met with President Bush at the White House this week. Bono urged the president to help the world’s poor; Bush urged Bono to get back with Cher.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
TV/Movie Quotes

In Washington, officials from the National Rifle Association met with a group of high school students… there were no survivors.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
Arms Conflict

I haven’t seen this many white people in tuxedos since the Titanic.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
Appearance Clothing TV/Movie Quotes

If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs; if you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
Emotions Entertainment Laughter

My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
Characteristics

In the wake of a successful Iraqi elections President Bush’s job approval rating has jumped up to 57% or, as high school teachers call it, an ‘F’.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
Miscellaneous

Monica Lewinsky has agreed to host a new Fox reality show called Mr. Personality; Lewinsky says this way, when people ask her the most degrading thing she's ever done, she'll have a new answer.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
Insults People

It was reported that Guy Ritchie has cast his wife Madonna in a small walk-on role in his new movie, Revolver… Madonna will play the part of the woman who ruins the film.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
Acting Entertainment Insults

A Senate committee on Thursday approved a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage, apparently forgetting that our forefathers wore wigs and satin Capri pants.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
TV/Movie Quotes