Author Tommy Lasorda | Just-One-Liners.com

Author: Tommy Lasorda

If he raced his pregnant wife he'd finish third.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

He wants Texas back.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

Baseball Sports When asked what terms Mexican-born pitching sensation Fernando Valenzuela might settle for in his upcoming contract negotiations

This guy's tough. He had a face that looked like it'd hold two days of rain.

Tommy Lasorda

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

Appearance Baseball Sports Face On Hank Bauer

I love doubleheaders; that way I get to keep my uniform on longer.

Tommy Lasorda

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

Baseball Sports Doubleheaders

I found out that it's not good to talk about my troubles; eighty percent of the people don't care and the other twenty percent are glad you're having trouble.

Tommy Lasorda

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

Baseball People Problems Sports

It couldn't have happened to a greater guy… well, yes, it could have happened to me.

Tommy Lasorda

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

Baseball Sports After Jerry Reuss pitched a no-hitter

I walk into the clubhouse and it's like walking into the Mayo Clinic; we have four doctors, three therapists and five trainers. Back when I broke in, we had one trainer who carried a bottle of rubbing alcohol and by the seventh inning he had drunk it all.

Tommy Lasorda

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

Baseball Sports

All last year we tried to teach him (Fernando Valenzuela) English, and the only word he learned was million.

Tommy Lasorda

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

Baseball Sports Fernando Valenzuela

There are three types of baseball players: those who make it happen, those who watch it happen, and those who wonder what happens.

Tommy Lasorda

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

Baseball Sports Players

When you say you're a padre, people ask when did you become a parent. When you say you're a cardinal, they tell you to work hard because the next step is pope. But when you say you're a Dodger, everybody knows you're in the Major Leagues.

Tommy Lasorda

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

Baseball Sports Los Angeles Dodgers

My theory of hitting was just to watch the ball as it came in and hit it.

Tommy Lasorda

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

Baseball Sports Hitting

The only way I'd worry about the weather is if it snows on our side of the field and not on theirs.

Tommy Lasorda

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

Baseball Science/Weather Sports

About the only problem with success is that it does not teach you how to deal with failure.

Tommy Lasorda

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

Baseball Sports Success

The average age of our bench is deceased.

Tommy Lasorda

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

Age Baseball Old Sports

If you start worrying about the people in the stands, before too long you're up in the stands with them.

Tommy Lasorda

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

Baseball Sports Managing

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Author: Tommy Lasorda

If he raced his pregnant wife he'd finish third.

He wants Texas back.

This guy's tough. He had a face that looked like it'd hold two days of rain.

I love doubleheaders; that way I get to keep my uniform on longer.

I found out that it's not good to talk about my troubles; eighty percent of the people don't care and the other twenty percent are glad you're having trouble.

It couldn't have happened to a greater guy… well, yes, it could have happened to me.

I walk into the clubhouse and it's like walking into the Mayo Clinic; we have four doctors, three therapists and five trainers. Back when I broke in, we had one trainer who carried a bottle of rubbing alcohol and by the seventh inning he had drunk it all.

All last year we tried to teach him (Fernando Valenzuela) English, and the only word he learned was million.

There are three types of baseball players: those who make it happen, those who watch it happen, and those who wonder what happens.

When you say you're a padre, people ask when did you become a parent. When you say you're a cardinal, they tell you to work hard because the next step is pope. But when you say you're a Dodger, everybody knows you're in the Major Leagues.

My theory of hitting was just to watch the ball as it came in and hit it.

The only way I'd worry about the weather is if it snows on our side of the field and not on theirs.

About the only problem with success is that it does not teach you how to deal with failure.

The average age of our bench is deceased.

If you start worrying about the people in the stands, before too long you're up in the stands with them.