Author Tommy Lasorda | Just-One-Liners.com

Author: Tommy Lasorda

I walk into the clubhouse and it's like walking into the Mayo Clinic; we have four doctors, three therapists and five trainers. Back when I broke in, we had one trainer who carried a bottle of rubbing alcohol and by the seventh inning he had drunk it all.

Tommy Lasorda

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

Baseball Sports

The average age of our bench is deceased.

Tommy Lasorda

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

Age Baseball Old Sports

When you say you're a padre, people ask when did you become a parent. When you say you're a cardinal, they tell you to work hard because the next step is pope. But when you say you're a Dodger, everybody knows you're in the Major Leagues.

Tommy Lasorda

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

Baseball Sports Los Angeles Dodgers

I love doubleheaders; that way I get to keep my uniform on longer.

Tommy Lasorda

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

Baseball Sports Doubleheaders

He wants Texas back.

Tommy Lasorda

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

Baseball Sports When asked what terms Mexican-born pitching sensation Fernando Valenzuela might settle for in his upcoming contract negotiations

If he raced his pregnant wife he'd finish third.

Tommy Lasorda

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

Baseball Sports On catcher Mike Scioscia’s lack of speed

There are three types of baseball players: those who make it happen, those who watch it happen, and those who wonder what happens.

Tommy Lasorda

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

Baseball Sports Players

All last year we tried to teach him (Fernando Valenzuela) English, and the only word he learned was million.

Tommy Lasorda

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

Baseball Sports Fernando Valenzuela

If you start worrying about the people in the stands, before too long you're up in the stands with them.

Tommy Lasorda

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

Baseball Sports Managing

My theory of hitting was just to watch the ball as it came in and hit it.

Tommy Lasorda

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

Baseball Sports Hitting

It couldn't have happened to a greater guy… well, yes, it could have happened to me.

Tommy Lasorda

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

Baseball Sports After Jerry Reuss pitched a no-hitter

The only way I'd worry about the weather is if it snows on our side of the field and not on theirs.

Tommy Lasorda

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

Baseball Science/Weather Sports

I found out that it's not good to talk about my troubles; eighty percent of the people don't care and the other twenty percent are glad you're having trouble.

Tommy Lasorda

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

Baseball People Problems Sports

This guy's tough. He had a face that looked like it'd hold two days of rain.

Tommy Lasorda

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

Appearance Baseball Sports Face On Hank Bauer

About the only problem with success is that it does not teach you how to deal with failure.

Tommy Lasorda

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

Baseball Sports Success

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Author: Tommy Lasorda

I walk into the clubhouse and it's like walking into the Mayo Clinic; we have four doctors, three therapists and five trainers. Back when I broke in, we had one trainer who carried a bottle of rubbing alcohol and by the seventh inning he had drunk it all.

The average age of our bench is deceased.

When you say you're a padre, people ask when did you become a parent. When you say you're a cardinal, they tell you to work hard because the next step is pope. But when you say you're a Dodger, everybody knows you're in the Major Leagues.

I love doubleheaders; that way I get to keep my uniform on longer.

He wants Texas back.

If he raced his pregnant wife he'd finish third.

There are three types of baseball players: those who make it happen, those who watch it happen, and those who wonder what happens.

All last year we tried to teach him (Fernando Valenzuela) English, and the only word he learned was million.

If you start worrying about the people in the stands, before too long you're up in the stands with them.

My theory of hitting was just to watch the ball as it came in and hit it.

It couldn't have happened to a greater guy… well, yes, it could have happened to me.

The only way I'd worry about the weather is if it snows on our side of the field and not on theirs.

I found out that it's not good to talk about my troubles; eighty percent of the people don't care and the other twenty percent are glad you're having trouble.

This guy's tough. He had a face that looked like it'd hold two days of rain.

About the only problem with success is that it does not teach you how to deal with failure.