Author: Tommy Lasorda

If he raced his pregnant wife he'd finish third.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

He wants Texas back.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

This guy's tough. He had a face that looked like it'd hold two days of rain.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

I love doubleheaders; that way I get to keep my uniform on longer.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

I found out that it's not good to talk about my troubles; eighty percent of the people don't care and the other twenty percent are glad you're having trouble.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

It couldn't have happened to a greater guy… well, yes, it could have happened to me.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

I walk into the clubhouse and it's like walking into the Mayo Clinic; we have four doctors, three therapists and five trainers. Back when I broke in, we had one trainer who carried a bottle of rubbing alcohol and by the seventh inning he had drunk it all.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

All last year we tried to teach him (Fernando Valenzuela) English, and the only word he learned was million.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

There are three types of baseball players: those who make it happen, those who watch it happen, and those who wonder what happens.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

When you say you're a padre, people ask when did you become a parent. When you say you're a cardinal, they tell you to work hard because the next step is pope. But when you say you're a Dodger, everybody knows you're in the Major Leagues.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

My theory of hitting was just to watch the ball as it came in and hit it.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

The only way I'd worry about the weather is if it snows on our side of the field and not on theirs.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

About the only problem with success is that it does not teach you how to deal with failure.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

The average age of our bench is deceased.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

If you start worrying about the people in the stands, before too long you're up in the stands with them.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager