Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Tracy Smith
I'm 34 years old; I thought I'd be divorced by now.
Tracy Smith
American comedian
Age
Divorce
Marriage
I have a doctor's appointment on Monday; I'm not even sick – it's just that I've been working out, and I want someone to see me naked.
Tracy Smith
American comedian
Appearance
Body
Fat
Naked
I wanted to make it really special on Valentine's Day, so I tied my boyfriend up… and for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV.
Tracy Smith
American comedian
Entertainment
Television
Valentine's Day
I spent 10 minutes with her [my sister’s] four kids, and my ovaries tied themselves in a knot.
Tracy Smith
American comedian
Children
Family