Author: Victor Borge

Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year.

(1909 – 2000) Danish-born comedian & pianist
Situations Time

I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more, but how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?

(1909 – 2000) Danish-born comedian & pianist
Entertainment Music

Ah Mozart! He was happily married… but his wife wasn’t.

(1909 – 2000) Danish-born comedian & pianist
Marriage

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.

(1909 – 2000) Danish-born comedian & pianist
Emotions Laughter

I only know two pieces; one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't.

(1909 – 2000) Danish-born comedian & pianist
Entertainment Music

I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible… and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.

(1909 – 2000) Danish-born comedian & pianist
Children Family Parents Success

The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.

(1909 – 2000) Danish-born comedian & pianist
Entertainment Music Things

When an opera star sings her head off, she usually improves her appearance.

(1909 – 2000) Danish-born comedian & pianist
Appearance Entertainment Music