Author: W.C. Fields Page 8

I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

It's quite true I'm not drinking anymore; however, I'm not drinking any less either.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

Go away kid, you bother me.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Children People

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Characteristics Eating Food/Drink

I certainly do not drink all the time, I have to sleep you know.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Situations Sleep

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

I change girlfriends every seven years, a habit I picked up from broken mirrors.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Dating Girlfriends People Relationships

Meet me down in the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

I think of the church often; not because religion was closing in on me, but because for a long time my ass was sore from that hard, unupholstered pew.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Beliefs Religion

Poker? Is that the game where one receives five cards, and if there’s two alike that’s pretty good, but if there’s three alike that’s much better?

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
TV/Movie Quotes

Cross my heart and hope to eat my weight in goslings.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Miscellaneous

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Money Poverty Wealth

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink