Author: Wally Cox

Bert Parks:  Is it true or false… that chickens who live near airports, lay more eggs, than chickens who live near railroads tracks?

Wally Cox (after audience laughter): I don’t see anything to laugh about!  (more laughter) I think it’s very obvious… Chicks who live near airports are more nervous than chicks who live near tracks. 

(1924 – 1973) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Can you catch a cold from your dog?

Wally Cox: Not anymore.  I don’t have my dog.

(1924 – 1973) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Where would you be most likely to find climbing clematis?

Wally Cox: Right now, you’d be most likely to find him in jail.

(1924 – 1973) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… there is absolutely no weather on the moon? 

Wally Cox: Well, there will be when we get there!

(1924 – 1973) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Spiro Agnew was in the infantry during World War Two.  Was he decorated?

Wally Cox: He looked really pretty in the puka shells but they made him take them off…

(1924 – 1973) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:  Wally, True or false… your teeth are made primarily of ivory?

Wally Cox:  Yes.  First you take an elephant…

(1924 – 1973) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Wally, a grapefruit is nothing like a grape.  How did it get its name?

Wally Cox: Oh, you noticed that too, huh?

(1924 – 1973) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Wally, what is the signature phrase of the cartoon character Underdog?

Wally Cox: Where are my residuals?

(1924 – 1973) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… a newborn rabbit can become a grandfather in less than a year.

Wally Cox: Let’s show ‘em!

(1924 – 1973) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter: If the draft board rejects you because you’re too fat, can you be drafted when you get skinny again? 

Wally Cox: Yes, it’s called double jeopardy. 

(1924 – 1973) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares