Author: Walter Matthau

Oscar Madison: I got, uh, brown sandwiches and, uh, green sandwiches. Which one do you want?
Murray: What’s the green?
Oscar Madison: It’s either very new cheese or very old meat.

(1920 – 2000) American actor
Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

I never mind my wife having the last word; in fact, I’m delighted when she gets to it.

(1920 – 2000) American actor
Communication Marriage Speech Wives

I have more talent in my smallest fart than you have in your entire body.

(1920 – 2000) American actor
Insults

He’s too nervous to kill himself; he wears his seat belt in a drive-in movie.

(1920 – 2000) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill he gave me six months more.

(1920 – 2000) American actor
Death Doctors Health Money

The game [of poker] exemplifies the worst aspects of capitalism that have made our country so great.

(1920 – 2000) American actor
Activities Games