Author: Will Rogers

On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Democracy Government

I don't make jokes… I just watch the government and report the facts.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Entertainment Government

With Congress, every time they make a joke it’s a law, and every time they make a law it’s a joke.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Congress Emotions Government

There are three kinds of men: the ones who learn by reading; the few who learn by observation; the rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Intelligence People

I belong to no organized party… I am a Democrat.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Politicians Politics Relationships

Statistics have proven that the surest way to get anything out of the public mind and never hear of it again is to have a Senate Committee appointed to look into it.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Congress Government

We can’t all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
People

It takes nerve to be a Democrat, but it takes money to be a Republican.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Politicians

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
America Golf Government People Sports Taxes

Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing – and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
America Money

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Money

Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie’ until you can find a rock.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Characteristics Government

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Congress Government People Situations Things

All you need to grow fine, vigorous grass is a crack in your sidewalk.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Situations

Whenever I feel the need for exercise I go and lie down for half an hour until the feeling passes.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Activities Exercise

The English should give Ireland home rule – and reserve the motion picture rights.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Places

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Communication Speech

If I could kick the person in the tail that causes me the most problems I could not sit down for a week.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
People Problems Self

You never know how much a man can't remember until he is called as a witness.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Individuals Intelligence Memory People

My ancestors didn't come over on the Mayflower, but they were there to meet the boat.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
History People Things Time

The more you read and observe about the Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Politics