Author: Will Rogers Page 2

We can’t all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
People

I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Age Appearance Body Old

Ain’t it funny how many hundreds of thousands of soldiers we can recruit with nerve; but we can’t find one politician in a million with backbone.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Military Politicians

A conference is just an admission that you want somebody to join you in your troubles.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
People Problems

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Age Congress Government Time

She was so ugly she could make a mule back away from an oat bin.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Appearance Insults

There are three kinds of men: the ones who learn by reading; the few who learn by observation; the rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Intelligence People

My ancestors didn't come over on the Mayflower, but they were there to meet the boat.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
History People Things Time

The more you read and observe about the Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Politics

Confucius perspired out more knowledge than the U.S. Senate has vocalized out in the last 50 years.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Congress Government Intelligence

Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie’ until you can find a rock.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Characteristics Government

The Venus de Milo is a good example of what happens to somebody who won't stop biting her fingernails.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Art Entertainment

The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Congress Death Government Taxes

Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Animals Characteristics Life

Once a man wants to hold a public office, he is absolutely no good for honest work.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Occupations Politicians Work

There’s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Work

All you need to grow fine, vigorous grass is a crack in your sidewalk.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Situations

Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing – and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
America Money

You can’t say civilization don’t advance, for in every war they kill you in a new way.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Conflict Killing War

Remember… write to your congressman; even if he can’t read… write to him.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Communication Intelligence Politicians Reading/Writing

On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Democracy Government