Author: Will Rogers Page 3

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Animals Situations

I belong to no organized party… I am a Democrat.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Politicians Politics Relationships

When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do – well, that's Memoirs.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Characteristics Past Reading/Writing Self

A conference is just an admission that you want somebody to join you in your troubles.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
People Problems

All you need to grow fine, vigorous grass is a crack in your sidewalk.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Situations

The English should give Ireland home rule – and reserve the motion picture rights.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Places

He’s the first president to discover that what the American people want is to be left alone.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
America Places

I can remember way back when a liberal was one who was generous with his own money.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Politicians

If I could kick the person in the tail that causes me the most problems I could not sit down for a week.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
People Problems Self

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Age Old Shopping

Always drink upstream from the herd.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Alcohol Food/Drink

My ancestors didn't come over on the Mayflower, but they were there to meet the boat.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
History People Things Time

The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Congress Death Government Taxes

Confucius perspired out more knowledge than the U.S. Senate has vocalized out in the last 50 years.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Congress Government Intelligence

Ain’t it funny how many hundreds of thousands of soldiers we can recruit with nerve; but we can’t find one politician in a million with backbone.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Military Politicians

With Congress, every time they make a joke it’s a law, and every time they make a law it’s a joke.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Congress Emotions Government